Helga – part 4…

Michelle to Helga:

What you have told me made me very thoughtful. I have become aware of that we often stop at the economic sucking out, and easily get upset about this. Because this form of sucking out is easy to prove. But what you are describing goes much further.

You have looked into the question what this exploitation has meant in your emotional life and in this (entirely) personal way you have come across something that probably is true for many survivors and children: the humiliation and depreciation, which often led the child to overlook its own value later, that she simply can’t perceive it.

This leads to that this grown up human being tries to get the value she (I write she in this whole text, but she can also be a he) thinks she is lacking, either at the expense of her fellow human being or through achievements, which she increases more and more, because she can’t appreciate her own value. Why one chooses the destructive solution and the other the self-destructive I don’t know.

But first through accepting the fact that we have been victims we get the opportunity to leave the play between victim and perpetrator and abandon both roles.

If your therapist had been capable of understanding what he did and been capable of admitting this to his victims, the path to a new life would have laid open for him too. But his complicated relationships with his victims seem to have a very long history, and already through the slightest acknowledgment he would probably risk a storm of accusations from people who suddenly got permission to see him through. One can understand that he doesn’t take that risk.

Consequently he will continue his geschäft and try to ‘psychiatrize’ his critics, and maybe he will even increase his economic successes, so long as the need for gurus remains.

And this need will probably remain, because there are so many human beings whom have never experienced love and therefore are lacking the ability to see their gurus through.

That you could do this was maybe because you had experienced love from your aunt (father’s sister) and your father after all. Human beings whom lacked every form of warmth in their childhoods are probably lacking all possibilities to get this sort of insights as you have made.

Your spiritual suffering made you seek contact with an extortionist, but there was something in your prehistory which maybe also gave you the chance to liberate yourself at last. There are probably many who didn’t’ get that chance in their childhoods. These can hardly liberate themselves from the sect’s claws just like that.

Your story also strengthens me in my conviction in the priceless value for a therapy-damaged person to know a person who can confirm her perceptions.

This helps her to get over the worst. If this occurs in therapy, among friends or at a counseling-bureau doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that one gets the opportunity to openly tell someone who is capable of listening to what has happened to one, and that one isn’t encouraged (or forced) to seek the causes to the disturbance(s) only in ones relation to ones parents. Because it is only here and know one can sort the situation out and clear the situation up.

A child can’t do this.
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