Creativity…

In the car home from work I had a lot of thoughts… We discussed a “new” form of cooperation at work. Initiated by us piano teachers originally. The discussion didn’t become especially “hot”, people looked or felt moderately interested.

We (the piano teachers and colleagues from other instrument groups) think people are working in many different, separate music schools. We would want to work more over the borders, for our own and our pupils' sake. At the same time we (on the whole workplace) have spoken about creating we-feeling.

It started to boil inside when nobody seemed to be interested, all sat there quiet. I felt very provoked. Of course you can wonder why I felt provoked, but this is another question and post I think.

I thought a lot for myself sitting there. This “we-feeling” we try to create by quite superficial means, as having parties and “funny” games. The rebellion in me was awoken?? Forced fun isn’t fun; funny games aren’t funny if they are forced on you! And this forced fun can become humiliating for some too?

And in the car I thought further… Are many of us so stressed and tired? And this stress and tiredness makes us less creative? We get stuck in certain thought-patterns and are incapable of thinking in other and/or new? And at the same time many maybe also feel they OUGHT to be creative, much more creative. Which rather add to the stress instead of lessens it! People can land in a viscous circle.

And I also came to think about the topic stimulation: neither over nor under stimulation are good. None of them are good in long term. Maybe short term stimulation (in form of stress for instance) can make you create big things, but you don’t if the stress and press continues year after year. And who knows what happens during this time either? If your life and relations are stable you can manage a longer time, but what makes sure nothing will happen?

Under stimulation is bad too! People also need to use their powers…

And on top comes the tricky things with balance… And we have to be allowed making mistakes!

I got an email this morning from a friend, about manipulation... Would want to write a separate posting about this, a brief one. But now I think I am going to take a bike ride first. Then home for some supper and maybe some more writing.

The keyword is respect…

Unlikenesses to each other (or differences) in a relation can be stimulating – so long as one respects each other (mutually).

No dating-firms (businesses) pair a meat-eater with a vegan. But in real life love doesn’t make such considerations. Some people are even drawn to what’s different (or unlike).

“It’s a question of personality,”

a female Swedish psychologist says.

“People whom are fearless or daring in their attachment style can think differences are exciting.”

And by age you can develop more and more into that direction, from being quite cautious?

During the falling in love time (or phase) differences can even be charmy. It’s not until the hormones are calming down one starts to wonder.

“How will this function?”

You don’t use your “left brain half” when you are in love. No (or little) logic thinking is involved.

Therefore one needs to sit down and resonate:

“We are very different, how shall we handle this?”

If you can solve the problems together, communicate and have a good sex life most of these things will get fixed and function. The keyword is respect.

“The best is to accept that this person is in a certain way and learn to handle this.”

With time you adjust to each other. This doesn’t have to mean compromising yourself to death, but can on the contrary (on the other hand) mean that you broaden your mind ("widen your views" or "vidgar dina vyer" as we say here in Sweden)!

“Love is to compromise a little (on the same conditions and mutually). To get a good relation you need to preserve both your own self and adjust to each other. You shall not change yourself to please, but to discover new things and have fun together.”

“But sometimes a relation with someone who is the entire opposite of oneself is entirely precarious.”

“When the differences becomes too big it ends up with that you make things with other people (maybe entirely) than with your partner – and what sort of relation do you have then?”

Miller writes about our longing for true, genuine communication. Yes, that’s what we seek, even if we aren’t aware of it or are thinking in these terms??

Read here, here and here.