Painting rosy…

When I was searching in Jennifer Freyd’s book “Betrayal Trauma – The Logic of Forgetting Childhood abuse” for something I wanted to quote I read something that struck a chord.

I am an eager photographer and it looks as I almost only have beautiful views around me?

I thought of painting rosy pictures of the “happy family” (of origin). I think I have contributed to this. Maybe not so much any longer. Something that maybe can disappoint some people, wanting to believe in the picture they saw, and want to believe that the happy family exists?

Freyd writes at page 194:

“Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the horror of our world that we are blind to its wonder; sometimes we are fortunate enough to be so overwhelmed by the wonder of the world that we are blind to its horror. When fragmented by betrayal blindness we sometimes see neither the horror nor the wonder. But whether we see them or not, both elements exist.”

Another thing that struck me is: developing abilities and skills demands training, sometimes a lot of training! Few people (children) can make things immediately. And the older you get the longer time you need for certain things. But experience can balance for the longer time it takes to learn new things and new skills. Especially if you are going to learn something you have never done before.

“Practice makes perfect”!

And you need to get time to learn and train (train and train even more)! And space learning. Sometimes even a lot of time. And maybe also patience and understanding from the environment!?

So long anybody’s life isn’t dependent on that you have certain skills immediately! And this seldom occurs for a lot of things. This is said quite ironical!

I was actually thinking on using a foreign language, talking and not least writing in it.

If you are allowed to train and train and train you’ll probably at last develop skills in your writing and communicating.

If people around you don’t have the patience with your imperfectness it’s probably their problem!

I can see an impatient parent here, not having maybe ANY patience with his/her child and that it isn’t (can’t possibly be) like an adult person when it comes to a lot of things: like using a good language immediately, with no flaws.

My dad had no patience when we should learn to cycle.

And there are parents with a lot of impatience even if they have very easily-taught children! Maybe some of those parents don’t even realize that their child(ren) are above average?

Rage, fury…

about J. Stiglitz here (from Indiana!) and see his homesite here.

Found an article by the American economist Joseph Stiglitz on the economical crisis “Capitalist Fools” about “five key mistakes – under Reagan, Clinton, and Bush II – and one national delusion,” and the reading of it made me think.

For ordinary people, the man on the street, maybe realizing what he/she has had to go without, forsake, and probably is forced to go without further * because of the politics that has been pursued (and realize the results of this politics) must be very hard. Where and how does this anger get expression? How is this (justified) disappointment (for the deceit and treachery to the man on the street) expressed?

Some people use denial to escape the anger?

Similar things exercised by people in power occur in other countries on this earth and have occurred during history.

What have they led to?

* But I am not sure that people should HAVE to forsake as much as they are probably going to be told... The governments here and there COULD do more for the ordinary man in this crisis!?? And then I don't mean just food and shelter or a roof over the head as we say!

The false hope of changing something and the wall of silence...

a hazy day.

A reader’s letter on Miller’s web made me think. It stood:

“I too had difficulty walking away from these people, I wanted to explain to them and help them understand, but I too from reading your books I learned I cannot make someone to see and understand if they refuse to see their own truth and now I can walk away without difficult.”

No, you can’t convert people who don’t want to become converted believing in things Miller for instance has written about…

But it can be difficult walking away!! More difficult the less response you get!? You stay and beat your head bloody (in a false hope).

Addition: this is the same or similar phenomenon occurring in therapies too! Where clients get stuck in bad therapies with bad therapists in a hopeless effort to get something from the therapist the therapist can't and/or don't want to give. Even things the client has all rights to get. See Helga's story. It looks like many people have experienced what Helga experienced, but there are probably many clients whom never realize this, unfortunately.

And abuse also occurs in other contexts resembling therapies, like in forums dealing with peoples' childhoods... Where people are exposed to abuse by the ones that are responsible...