And thought further: the ones that are denying the damaging effects of spankings (and other ways of abusing a child) are the ones that are most dangerous for other people - and the society. I think we see this today (and have probably seen it before too, maybe I see it clearer today, than I did, I think, and hope). They tend to get power too, not so seldom a lot of power. Why?
Why are people voting for those persons?
The less you’re in denial the less dangerous you are to other people.
I also thought, with amazement, that you need to be reminded about what Jordan Riak writes even in a country where corporal punishment is forbidden, as the one I’m living in!
I also read a small notice in a magazine I got from the Swedish church about a black-and-white-thinking in the world. With a heading saying something in the style “Strike a blow for the uncertainty”, where you could read that feelings have always been flowing. This is nothing new. What’s new in this is that this flow, or stream, is seen in real time. “Hate this!” and “Hate that!” “Love this!” and “love that!”
Just a click away with the computer’s mouse you get an abreaction of emotions. And you find a lot of like-minded. Which can be both a good and a bad thing.
However, getting together out of admiration is better than a community in the name of hate the writer thought. But in both cases you can close your eyes for things he (she) thinks.
The author calls this phenomenon everyday-fundamentalism. And he (or she?) wants to strike a blow for the ambivalence. For being open and searching isn’t only radical. It’s to defend a whole outlook on man.
But, I don’t know, sometimes the uncertain maybe should be more certain and raise their voices more?
[Updated June 30]. Yes, why do we? And why do we tend not to question it? Why do we tend to look up on people in power and have small and sometimes non-existing demands on them? And at the same time have big demands on those under, those with no or little power? Why don't we question (high) demands on those latter (but on the former)? Where are the roots?
How can we make fair and justified demands on ALL people?
Do we even sometimes have the right to make higher demands on those in power? The more demands the more power they get? At least if they have power over our lives!? But as fellow human beings we should have the same demands on all people, no matter their position in the society, rich or poor!?
Why aren't we capable of making those distinctions? On justified demands that has nothing with people's position to do.
Why don't we see clearer than we do? because I think many of us are more or less blindly admiring.
Is it because we weren't allowed to really see how our early caretakers were, what they did, question what they did etc.?
Are we doomed being forever incapable in seeing things through (seeing the power through for instance every time it's needed, as the child in The Emperor's New Clothes)?
Addition June 30:Sigrun wrote about class in a blogposting yesterday, the class you belong to and what this class-belonging means.
She had read a couple of comments on an article in a Norwegian newspaper about a right wing politician retired because of sickness. She complained that the social insurance becomes reduced with five percent because she receives compensation as representative in the board for the community where she lives.
Sigrun doesn't think that the few crowns it's about in this case is any problem. She thinks it's even worse when people with such tasks don't become paid at all, but maybe even have to pay from their own purse.
But after this comes what I thought was even more interesting:
Sigrun thinks it's probably much easier for unable to work coming from a middle-class background to become recruited in resource-strong organizations as political parties, than for unable to work with a less resource-strong background.
Journalists (as those on this Norwegian paper) probably don't understand this, because they are identifying themselves easier with middle-class people.
[Slightly edited in the evening and a little February 24, seeking, searching the words]. Quickly some notes thrown down.
On my walk this morning I thought on the notion “freedom”… What is this about? What should it be about?
I also thought on the notion autonomy, and further on arrogance and cynicism.
Miller has written about autonomy, for instance in “The Drama of the Gifted Child” (in my translation from the Swedish edition):
“A patient with ‘antennas’ for the unconscious in the therapist will immediately react on this [the therapist's needs of another, weaker person’s childish dependency on him/her]. He will quickly ‘feel’ autonomous and behave in this way if he notices [on a conscious or unconscious way] that it is important for the therapist getting autonomous patients with a secure behavior quickly. But this ‘autonomy’ ends up in depression [sooner or later], because it isn’t genuine.”
I think she is right. Many (all) patients seeking help are used to filling other persons' (parents', caregivers' and their substitutes') needs. Actually the patient isn't to blame for being stuck in depression. But many patients tend to blame themselves, blaming themselves for being failures, impossible.
Miller also writes about manipulative measures concerning depressive patients, and the vicious circle of contempt showing in too many helpers too...
She also writes,about autonomy (in the same book):
“The difficulties to experience and develop own genuine feelings results in a permanent bond that makes a demarcation [liberation] impossible./…/ …the child hasn’t gotten the opportunity to develop an own security.”
And this is often met with contempt for weakness, not empathy or understanding/enlightenment about the roots to this state. Too often also from so called helpers, such as therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists. And thus the person in question is stuck in shame and becomes even more tied up, even more unfree.
Contempt for weakness and instilling shame.
I also thought about needs, bottomless needs, originating in the child’s unfulfilled early needs. And those needs can never become filled afterwards, but you can acknowledge and recognize them and maybe grieve them and then be capable of filling you adult needs… Instead of the childhood needs. Trying to fill our childhood needs always causes problems, bigger or smaller.
It’s important that you don’t belittle or minimize what happened though, or rather this is even crucial for recovery to occur.
What we see (and have seen through history) are needs (for power and wealth) need that are never fulfilled, expressed in different ways, more or less violent. Persons never getting satisfied. And this is nothing we are born with is my true conviction, but has a reason.
Miller also writes about directing our anger (and other feelings) at scapegoats (symbols, symbolically dealing with early things), something that will never liberate us. Only of we direct those feelings at the true and original causes we will become liberated. Which doesn't say that any of this is easy, unfortunately. So if we could prevent this...
Yes, it’s this with xenophobia too… See for instance the American neurologist Jonathan H. Pincus and fascism (“Hitler and Hatred”), and about societal approval… See earlier posting on Pincus on terrorism. And also see earlier postings under the label bigotry.
[Updated later during the day and February 23]. From the article "Världen över trampar nyliberalismen med stora fötter över skolan. En skarp varning för följderna utfärdas i en internationell antologi" or ”The World Over the Neoliberalism is Treading With Big Feet Over the School. A Sharp Warning for the Consequences Issued In An International Anthology”on the anthology Global Assault on Teaching, Teachers and their unions" (Palgrave MacMillan)see page 84 in the Pedagogical Magazine no 1/2009.
In this anthology you can read what happens in the education sector when the neoliberal transformation is put into practice globally. The first part of the book gives an introduction to the neoliberal attack.
“The authors think that this attack is part of a political project with three aims, developed since the beginning of 1980.
Those are
(1) Transferring wealth upwards in the social hierarchy through creating new steering mechanisms – the rich shall become even richer.
(2) Remaking national school systems so that the production of workers for the market’s needs becomes the chief goal – educate for work and not [seeing school and education] as a human right.
(3) Breaking down the public sector’s sole right in the education sector for to create extended possibilities for private profit interests – making education a part of the market via what is called free choices.”
Concepts like charter schools, city academies, and language schools are used as descriptions for what we in Sweden call free schools, a concept that rhetorically has a positive ring and therefore fits into the neoliberal ambiguousness the reviewer writes.
The Bush regime in USA used the so calledTexas-miraclein its campaign for the new conservative school politics passing under the nameNo Child Left Behind. You spontaneously come to think of the Swedish minister of education’s way of characterizing the Swedish school from what he calls scientific truths. I would want to blog about this later.
According to the review there is a mobilization over the whole world against those neoliberal currents in the school.
“In the book it is pointed out how important it is that the mobilization continues and becomes extended internationally.”
I searched on earlier postings with the label rethinking schools and found this about the school ni USA apropos the presumed lousy school in the USA according to Alan Greenspan, who accused it for being the reason for the immensely increased gaps in incomes between CEO s and workers.
Addition after lunch: Apropos our leading school politicians who are honoring knowledge: the chief editor for the Pedagogical Magazine wrote in his last leader about an investigation on a new teacher’s education in Sweden he had just read, by a Sigbrit Franke.
He started his reading with wondering what attitude Franke would adopt towards…
“…the nonchalant, yes, sometimes almost contemptuous, attitude her political employer has shown towards education-scientific research (it had been interesting to see the reactions if for instance Maud Olofsson or Göran Hägglund expressed themselves in a similar manner in their respective areas of responsibility in the government).”
The chief editor thinks Franke’s ambition has been high; wanting to present a suggestion that is “long term durable” and “that isn’t marked by the current prevailing winds in societal and pedagogical debate”.
“That’s not a bad ambition considering that it is exactly those ‘prevailing winds’ in the societal debate that has taken the discussion about education over – often in collision course with what research in the field has shown./…/
As an academic vocational education the teacher’s education shall, as you use to say, rest on scientific ground and well-tried experiences. But it shall not only, Franke maintains in her investigation, be linked up with science – it shall be based on research.”
The leader writer thinks this is a considerable accentuation.
Education and ways of working building on inner motivation will most likely become more effective seen long-term than activities principally based on outer motivation – rewards and punishments.
Addition February 23: The presumed discipline problems in school is that part of the propaganda? See earlier posting.
“Over the last couple of decades a new global consensus about reshaping economies and schools has emerged among the politicians and the powerful of the world. Whereas in the past governments -- preferably democratically elected -- have assumed the responsibility to ensure that all children are educated, schools and universities are now regarded as a potential market. In these educational markets, entrepreneurs set up schools and determine what is taught and how it is taught in order to make a profit. The assumption that schooling is a ‘public good’ is under the most severe attack it has ever endured. Teacher trade unionists are grappling with the increasing privatization of education services, the introduction of business ‘quality control’ measures into education, and the requirement that education produce the kind of minimally-trained and flexible workforce that corporations require to maximize their profits. Among scholars and global justice activists, these reforms being made to the economy and education are often called ‘neoliberal.’ They are experienced almost universally by teachers, children, and parents.
While rich northern nations spend billions of dollars prosecuting wars and have bottomless resources for the exploiting of new gas and oil reserves, the most precious reserves of all -- the world's children -- stand at the back of the line. Nor is there an opportunity to develop education systems so that they can fulfill their true purpose -- to enable people to live a full and creative life, or as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights puts it, to ensure that education is directed ‘toward the full development of the human personality.’
There is an old saying that ‘a lie gets halfway round the world before the truth gets on its running shoes.’ The lie making the running in schooling is that private corporations and entrepreneurs are much more able to make education work for the poor than teachers, communities, and their elected representatives in government. And when one listens to politicians and reads in the media about the benefits of bringing the private market and business methodologies into education, one can often feel as if teachers have hardly begun to tie the laces on their running shoes. The voices for privatization and neoliberalism have virtually the whole of the world's media at their disposal to speed them on their way.
Rebutting the ‘private good, public bad’ propaganda is complicated by neoliberalism's hijacking of ideals and terms borrowed from those who have spent their lives campaigning for education for all and opportunities for the poor and oppressed. Hearing news reports and politicians' statements of lofty goals, one might think there is nothing closer to the hearts of the international financiers, accountants, and politicians than the needs of the poor. It is only when you look at the actual effects of the policies of world financial institutions like the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Bank on ‘developing’ countries and their education systems that you realize that nothing could be further from the truth. The World Bank's structural adjustment programs have destroyed perfectly adequate education systems in countries like Zambia and are threatening to do the same in many others. Neoliberal reports, websites, and corporate financial bulletins with titles like ‘Why school fees are good for the poor,’ show that when it serves their purpose, neoliberal gurus are quite willing to ditch the rhetoric of social justice and equality and lay bare the true face of their education policy.”
Written by LOIS WEINER is a Professor at New JerseyCityUniversity and a member of the New Politics editorial board.MARY COMPTON is Past President of the UK National Union of Teachers, the largest teacher union in Europe.
"Modern education is competitive, nationalistic and separative. It has trained the child to regard material values as of major importance, to believe that his nation is also of major importance and superior to other nations and peoples. The general level of world information is high but usually biased, influenced by national prejudices, serving to make us citizens of our nation but not of the world."
“This crippling of individuals I consider the worst evil of capitalism. Our whole educational system suffers from this evil. An exaggerated competitive attitude is inculcated into the student, who is trained to worship acquisitive success as a preparation for his future career.
I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
In such an economy, the means of production are owned by society itself and are utilized in a planned fashion. A planned economy, which adjusts production to the needs of the community, would distribute the work to be done among all those able to work and would guarantee a livelihood to every man, woman, and child. The education of the individual, in addition to promoting his own innate abilities, would attempt to develop in him a sense of responsibility for his fellow men in place of the glorification of power and success in our present society.”
she writes (see earlier blogpostings about her writings here). And wishes that any of our most courageous journalists, with sense for justice (and with a hidden camera), would make TV-programs about this.
“It’s so shocking so one want to cry.
Child abuse is increasing and many children are exposed to awful actions [and conditions] by their parents, almost always it’s the father that is the abuser Children’s Right in Society (in Sweden) says.
What are the Swedish men, young as old, doing? Because young women are calling Bris [Children’s Right in Society] and telling that they are abused by their boyfriends too. Why can’t we get any journalism not only telling us about innocent men for a while, but a journalism that sees it from the children’s perspective and dig into the world where violence is an everyday life context for small human beings who are totally defenseless in their own homes, with their own swine skunks to – mostly – fathers.”
Each tenth child is beaten the article says.
The number of children calling Children’s Right in Society to tell about abuse further increased during 2008 (see this report in English). And who are calling? Not the youngest. What are they exposed to?
During the last five years the number has increased with 20 percent.
Last year Children’s Right in Society got almost 22,000 contacts from children and adolescents around Sweden, 30 years after we got the ban on corporal punishment and 20 years after the United Nations Convention of the Right of the Child.
The report from Children’s Right is gloomy reading.
In almost each tenth contact children were telling about physical and psychological abuse. The report is terrifying reading.
Children have told about routine-like violence, where they have become beaten and sometimes even been beaten with weapons like belt and sticks daily, but some have also told about more torture like violence. And some children have also told about how they have become shaken and beaten till they lost the consciousness.
When children are exposed to violence the perpetrator is often a parent, almost always the dad. My addition: but I know of cases where the mother was the main abuser.
According to the report the violence is combined with psychological violence where the children are told that they aren’t loved and worthless and that that’s the reason why they are beaten.
How horrible, and not true! Nobody “deserves” being abused how “worthless” they even are!
Many calls come from young women telling that they have become beaten by their boyfriends. The girl has often moved from home to an older boyfriend (and why is that?) and is exposed to both physical and psychological abuse.
They realize that they maybe are badly treated, but they don’t dare to tell anybody, because they think they have to blame themselves because they have chosen this relation themselves.
One of five children expresses some kind of anxiety. It can be anxiety and agony in children living with violent and abusing parents, worry for friends or anxiety as an expression for psychological ill-health (no wonder the ill-health!).
Some children experience that they are let down by the society. When they have told other adults, as teachers and personnel in social services about the abuse they haven’t gotten any reaction.
“It’s frightening realizing that the children have told something [and somebody] but nothing happens. They are not taken seriously, “
the director-.general for Children’s Rights in Society Göran Harnesk says.
Many children express a fear for the duty to report, a duty which means that all working with children has a duty or obligation to report social evils (bad conditions), because the contact with the parents then is at risk of getting worse.
I think they (psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists etc.) too often run the errands of the power! Trying to adapt people to the “culture” in the society and at workplaces (as schools are for children and young people) where they live and work, instead of really questioning it… Are they adapting people to a sick culture that should become changed rather?
Addition January 31: also see this blogposting, about "Normalisation of abuse." I want to write about this posting later too.
In this blog I want to explore the effects of childhood experiences on individual lives, the health (not only the emotional/psychological, but also, and not least, the bodily/somatic), the society, why people seek themselves to power positions, the effect of childhood on politics.
With the ideas that imbue Alice Miller's work and writing.
And sometimes just share things I have read and come across and I agree with and couldn't have said better myself.
I work full time with young people since many years, as teacher in music (piano pedagogue), and am interested in these things, both privately/personally and professionally.
But my time is limited to write and blog, even if it probably doesn't look so.
I will devote myself to loud thinking a lot here I think. And this blog is also a way for me to collect texts, facts, links, sites I want to save for further use maybe.
Makt avslöjar en persons grundläggande moral …
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Påskuppropet mot sjukförsäkringar
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Idag var det manifestation. Mycket bra. Jag var där. Mycket bra.
Men någonting gnagde mig på vägen hem. För stämningen var mer uppgiven än
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Arbeidet med ny side er i gang!
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Click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site.
Books I am referring to on this blog:
Bosch, Ingeborg: "Rediscovering the True Self"
Freyd, Jennifer J.: "Betrayal Trauma - The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse" ISBN 0-647-06806-8
Jenson, Jean: "Reclaiming Your Life" ISBN 91-46-17409-5
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Hvordan krenkede barn blir syke voksne" ISBN 82-15-00713-9 ("How Abused Children Become Unhealthy Adults")
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Inscribed bodies - Health Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse" ISBN 0-7923-7019-8
Lewis Herman, Judith: "Trauma and Recovery - From Domestic Violence to Political Terror" ISBN 086358430-6 (svensk översättning finns: ”Trauma och tillfrisknande” ISBN10: 9197263133, ISBN13: 9789197263139, Förlag: Göteborgs Psykoterapi Institut)
Miller, Alice: "Den dolda nyckeln" ISBN 91-46-15747-6 (The Untouched Key)
Miller, Alice: "Det självutplånande barnet och sökandet efter en äkta identitet" ISBN 91-7643-559-8 (The Drama of the Gifted Child)
Miller, Alice: "Du skall icke märka - variationer över paradistemat" ISBN 91-46-14374-2 (Thou Shalt Not Be Aware)
Miller, Alice: "Riv tigandets mur - sanning byggd på fakta" ISBN 91-46-16022-1 (Breaking Down the Wall of Silence)
Miller, Alice: "The Body Never Lies - The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting" ISBN 0-393-06065-9
Miller, Alice: "The Truth Will Set You Free - Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self" ISBN 0-465-04585-5
Miller, Alice: "Vägar i livet - sju berättelser" ISBN 91-46-17414-1 (Paths of Life - Seven Scenarios)
Pincus, Jonathan H.: "Base Instincts - What Makes Killers Kill?" ISBN 0-393-32323-4
Children baking...
Look, the joy in the children?? Enjoying what they are doing? (illustration from one of the books by Astrid Lindgren, click on the picture to go to her site).
"...of all the many forms of child abuse, emotional abuse may be the cruelest and longest-lasting of all.” "Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child's self-concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all children: love and protection." (Andrew Vachss)
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom." -- "Common Sense", Thomas Paine, January 10, 1776
"Modern education is competitive, nationalistic and separative. It has trained the child to regard material values as of major importance, to believe that his nation is also of major importance and superior to other nations and peoples. The general level of world information is high but usually biased, influenced by national prejudices, serving to make us citizens of our nation but not of the world." (Albert Einstein)
"Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last fifty years... Given these and other conditions of contemporary civilization, how can one claim that the ‘normal’ man is sane?" (R.D. Laing, 1967)
"Organizations take on characteristics of the people running them./.../ There's always pressure within groups to conform, anyway. The top monkey exerts the most pressure." (Steve Thomas)
"Yet many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible unadjustment of the culture itself." (Erich Fromm in The Sane Society, 1955)
When a big kid hits a little kid, we call it bullying. When an adult hits another adult, we call it assault. When the adults in a family hit each other we call it battering or domestic violence. When an adult hits a child we call it discipline..
“Blindness and lack of connectedness whether truly needed or not, are ultimately tragic solutions to life. These adaptations keep us from knowing ourselves and others fully. We end up fragmented both internally and externally – impoverished spiritually and socially /…/ it seriously constrains our human potential /…/ Survivors of childhood sexual abuse and betrayal blindness have learned to cope by being disconnected internally so as to manage a minimal kind of external connection. But with adult freedom and responsibility come the potential to break silence, to use voice and language to promote internal integration, deeper external connection, and a social transformation, Through communication – integration within ourselves and connection between individuals – we can become whole; embodied, aware, vital, powerful”(Jennifer Freyd in the chapter “Removing Blinders, Becoming Connected” in her book “Betrayal Trauma…”).
“If you are very strong you have to be very kind” (Pippi Longstocking)
“In psychiatry, too, what a person says and writes can’t be divorced from who he is and how he lives.” (Thomas Szasz).
“The method of Marshall Rosenberg is very nice and may be helpful to people who have not be[been??] severely mistreated in childhood. The latter ones however must find their pent up, LEGITIMATE rage and free themselves from the lies of our moral system. As long as they don't do this, their body will continue to scream for the truth with the help of symptoms" (Alice Miller)
“To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which shall really increase the happiness and welfare and virtue of mankind - this is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely it is a good haven to sail for" (Henry van Dyke)
“‘I have never met a man,’ said Grandma Georgina, ‘who talks so much absolute nonsense!’ ‘A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,’ Mr Wonka said.” (Roald Dahl)
Look at his facial expression! Angrily carving… The stubborn, disobedient child... Or? How does he feel there in his joiner's workshop? (click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site).
About the ACE-study:
"It's not just water under the bridge."
ACEs are surprisingly common among people of all social strata, and have far-reaching consequences. For many people, it's not possible to "just get over it".
What's an ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience i.e. "skadlig barndomserfarenhet")? Adverse Childhood Experience is growing up experiencing any of the following conditions in the household prior to age 18:
1. Recurrent physical abuse
2. Recurrent emotional abuse
3. Contact sexual abuse
4. An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the household
5. An incarcerated household member
6. Someone who is chronically depressed, mentally ill, institutionalized, or suicidal
I don't like being photographed, and don't have many photos of myself but here are some, though fairly old! Click on the picture to see two more pictures.
I was born in Umeå in Västerbotten, Sweden, and moved during childhood stepwise to Skåne in the south, and at last back to just below the middle of Sweden where I still live.
I am educated both as piano-pedagogue and church-musician and have a full time employment as piano-pedagogue. Church-music is side work.
I am interested in a lot of things and will blog about things I read, psychology, society, history, nature, my work too hopefully, and my everyday life… And both in Swedish and English.
This is a blog, with my (sometimes very) personal - and loud reflections on what I read, see, hear, react on, feel for - and not feel for and want to explore. I don't work in this field at all, but I have my reflections and thoughts nevertheless and have read fairly a lot I think, and here I reflect upon all this. I am searching myself forward. I link sites for information, if one want to know more about what I am talking/writing about and what is mentioned in the texts I am citing and referring to. And I link sites not least for my own sake. So it isn’t sure I agree with all that is linked on this blog, that's not why I link sites. I can agree with parts of what is linked, bigger or smaller, from almost everything to almost nothing.
I hope those who perhaps find my blog are reading everything here critically - including what stands in what I link.
And when it comes to therapy and all (self)help-concepts I think one shall be very careful. Maybe as a friend said it:
“Meaningful critical thinking.
Psychotherapists have been claiming that they have invented better treatment methods since Sigmund Freud in 1897. The amount of psychological distress in the world hasn’t become less. There’s money to be made from attracting more clients, whether the therapy works or not.
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