Fatalism…

Michael Milburn and a water colour painting by him.

from this site (I got an e-postcard this morning from a friend).

Some morning reflections: I react a lot at our current government (a government I hope becomes short-lived and doesn't destroy too much in the society, but I fear they are going to destroy a lot more than they have already done). And this takes a lot of time and energy for me of some reason?

I wonder what is driving them (and what is driving me?). Probably a lot they aren’t aware of themselves? Or all their drives are probably not conscious (is this to exaggerate)? And why do people in general go on these politicians rhetoric? What is driving them? Do they know what is driving them?

With this not said I know myself so much better than people in general (with a tired smile).

And as the creatively working I am I think hardly any of all our politicians (neither here than anywhere else) show creative traits… And no interests in these things either!! At least hardly any genuine, deep, passionate interests. And I react too on a certain sort of snobbishness…

There are no access between the “right” and “left” brain? The Swedish physician Christina Doctare wrote in her book “Hjärnstress” (“Brain Stress”) that she thinks the future leaders need to have both IQ and EQ and jolly good/proper broad bands between those.

Alice Miller writes at page 188 in her book “The Truth Will Set You Free”:

“As a child I, too, had to learn to keep my mouth shut and stop asking ‘Why?’ of people whom I knew would give me an evasive [undvikande, kringgående] answer. Later I tried to answer those questions for myself and in so doing discovered the supreme commandments running through our upbringing and education: ‘Thou shalt not be mindful of the things done to you or the things you have done to others.’ I then realized that for thousand of years this commandment has prevented us from telling good from evil, identifying the wrongs done to us in childhood and sparing our own children the same fate./…/

If we deny the wounds inflicted on us, we will inflict those same wounds on the next generation. Unless, that is, we make a decision in favour of knowledge.”

But for doing this journey we probably need help? If we have to do it on our own it will take a lot of time, and we will probably inflict harm on others during it, but hopefully less big...

Our politicians are pretty authoritarian, and “knowing best”…

The American neurologist Jonathan Pincus writes about how abuse might lead you bigotry.

Miller also writes at page 189 -190 in “The Truth…”:

“Like Frank McCourt, many people today say, ‘My childhood was awful, but it had its moments, and the main thing is that I survived it all and can write about it. It’s the way of the world.’ I find such an attitude fatalistic and believe that we can rebel against this kind of childhood and do our bit to ensure that it will cease [upphöra, sluta upp med] to exist, or at least cease to be so common.

To a child, an unemployed father (like McCourt’s) spending his dole money [arbetslöshetsunderstöd?] on drink is an inescapable trick of fate: the child has no alternative but to come to terms with such realities. Children may in some vague way intuit that they are not really being perceived [sedda, varseblivna, uppfattade] by their parents for what they are, that the parents need them as scapegoats. But their minds cannot grasp the facts/…/

They take refuge in compassion for their parents, and the feeling of love will help them retain some modicum of dignity in spite of the mistreatment.

But children forced to overlook the cruelty born of irresponsibility and indifference on the part of their parents are in danger of blindly adopting this attitude themselves and staying bogged down [stående i ett träsk? Fatalismens träsk?] in the fatalistic ideology that declares evil to be the way of the world. As adults they will retain [hålla kvar] the perspective of the helpless child with no alternative but to come to terms with this fate. They will not know that, paradoxically, they can only grow out of this childlike attitude if they lose their fear of the wrath [vrede] of God (their parents) and are willing to inform themselves about the destructive consequences of repressed childhood traumas. But if they do become alive to this truth, they will regain [återfå, återvinna] their lost sensibility for the suffering of children and free themselves of their emotional blindness.”

Earlier postings under the label Christina Doctare and on empathy deficits here and here.

See Arthur Silber and his Alice Miller essays. Words that comes back in the titles to these essays are "obedience", "denial", "innocence" it feels... For instance Silber writes about the consequences of denial, see “THE ROOTS OF HORROR: The Consequences of Denial”:

“…the results of the mechanism of denial and obedience, a mechanism which requires that reality be obliterated [utplånad, förintad], so that the threat of unpleasant facts cannot come too close and so that authority will not be questioned -- even when those facts lead to the deaths of untold millions of people and a war that engulfs the entire world.

People ought to consider this warning from history -- before it becomes too late, once again. Unfortunately, if history itself is any guide, all such warnings will be disregarded [ignorerade, åsidosatta], and the nightmare [mardröm] may envelop [svepa in, inhölja] us still another time.”

Also read about "Pro-War Personality Disorder". There it stands for instance:

"Kurt Vonnegut, author of the anti-war novel Slaughterhouse Five, said in an online article that he believes many corporate executives and government leaders are afflicted with psychopathic personalities which match actual textbook definitions.

‘PPs [Psychopathic personalities?] are presentable, they know full well the suffering their actions may cause others, but they do not care... Unlike normal people, they are never filled with doubts, for the simple reason that they cannot care what happens next. Simply can't. Do this! Do that! Mobilize the reserves! Privatize the public schools! Attack Iraq! Cut health care! Tap everybody's telephone! Cut taxes on the rich...’

Why are political views more deeply divided in America than anywhere else in the free world? According to Michael Milburn, a psychologist at the University of Massachusetts [who seem to paint too!! Nice!], the difference is in the way individuals were raised, as he explained in a Newsweek magazine interview [another copy of the text]."

A nail in the foot…

I have started to read a book about Social Grammar. There it stood about people replying that it was worse 70-60 years back (during the depression) in the work life, if someone is complaining about the stress and press today.

The author writes that he has never understood these arguments. That people today aren’t allowed to complain about how they have it today because people had it worse earlier.
For the first this is no sign of social competence – always comparing with someone who had it worse.

We have a classical and famous sketch here about a “nail in the foot” ("Spik i foten!").

“A nail in the foot!?? During the French revolution people would have been glad if they had had a nail in the foot!!”

The author thinks that the principle must lie steady: Each human being has her/his right to her/his suffering, irrespectively of how many there are that have had it worse. If it wasn’t so it would only be one person on this earth (and during all history) who had the right to complain, and that is the one who had it worst.

But this social competence includes wondering over in which situation and to whom I am complaining.

But I think it is "similar" with Social Competence as with Emotional Intelligence… The Dutch therapist Ingeborg Bosch writes in her book at page 82 about Daniel Goleman and his concept Emotional Intelligence:

“The reader should be aware that many of the ideas on emotional development put forward in Mr. Golemans book are contrary to PRI [Past Reality Integration therapy] ideas. In PRI it is not considered as desirable for young children to control their ‘socially undesired’ emotions or feelings such as fear and anger. When this sort of behaviour is desired by adults of children PRI regards it as poisonous pedagogy.

/…/ Also, many of the behaviors that are considered by Mr. Goleman to be essential elements of ‘emotional intelligence’, are considered by PRI to be defenses (False Hope and False Power Denial of Needs) employed in order to avoid feeling pain. The general profile of Golemans ‘emotionally intelligent’ person fits the PRI idea of someone who is quite defensive, albeit in a socially desirable way. This might therefore lead to social success, while simultaneously sacrificing contact with the True Self and inner autonomy.”

And Jennifer Freyd writes at page 195 in her book:

“For a child dependent on abusive caregivers, lack of internal connection can help maintain some sort of external connection to necessary others. But I disagree with those such as Daniel Goleman (1985), who suggest that while truth is generally a good thing, some times even privileged members of our society are best served by living with ‘vital lies’ in which the truth is best kept from oneself and one’s intimate partners.”

From today's walk. It is icy everywhere. It snowed yesterday... After my fall yesterday I still feel it when I am coughing or laughing...

Eskil suddenly threw himself down into the snow and started scrubbing himself, first on one side, so the next!! He needs to get trimmed or cut?

Before and after that he ran here and there in the wood, behind me and in front of me... Awoke on the right side today!? Despite the weather. He is a weather-dog, when it's raining he doesn't want to go out! He senses this before he has even stung (??) his nose out!!! And he isn't a morning-dog, which suites me fine!! :-) And suits many here fine too!!

He also likes when there is people in the house?? That's fun?? :-)

Now I am going to bake bread, and hopefully practice piano for some hours, so vacation I have... Need it.

Baking bread and listening to Ann-Sofie von Otter… This music is so passionate (at least to me trained in it) and she is singing so well… Practicing piano while the dough is rising (used cold water, so this took a couple of hours). Look forward to a cup of tea with honey, still a little warm bread with butter and cheese…

See earlier postings under the label EQ.