CHRISTINE: Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while - please promise me you'll try. When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free - if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me
We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea - but if you can still remember stop and think of me . . .
Think of all the things we've shared and seen - don't think about the things which might have been . . .
Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned. Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. Recall those days look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do - there will never be a day, when I won't think of you . . .
RAOUL: Can it be? Can it be Christine? Bravo! Long ago, it seems so long ago How young and innocent we were... She may not remember me, but I remember her...
CHRISTINE Flowers fades, The fruits of summer fade, They have their seasons, so do we but please promise me, that sometimes you will think of me!
I am going to do this piece of music from Phantom of the Opera with a student on a lunch concert in a little more than one week...
Addition February 4: And I am going to play this with another student...
The music from Schindler's List...
Peaceful Easy Feeling
I like the way your sparkling earrings lay, against your skin, it's so brown and I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight with a billion stars all around 'cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling and I know you won't let me down 'cause I'm already standing on the ground And I found out a long time ago what a woman can do to your soul Ah, but she can't take you anyway You don't already know how to go and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling and I know you won't let me down 'cause I'm already standing on the ground I get this feeling I may know you as a lover and a friend but this voice keeps whispering in my other ear, tells me I may never see you again 'cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling and I know you won't let me down 'cause I'm already standing on the ground 'cause I'm already standing... on the ground oooo, oooo
Every time I look at you I don't understand Why you let the things you did get so out of hand. You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned. Why'd you choose such a backward time in such a strange land? If you'd come today you could have reached a whole nation. Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication. Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know.
CHOIR
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Superstar, Do you think you're what they say you are?
VOICE OF JUDAS
Tell me what you think about your friends at the top. Who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop? Buddah, was he where it's at? Is he where you are? Could Mahomet move a mountain, or was that just PR? Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker? Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know.
CHOIR
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Who are you? What have you sacrificed? Jesus Christ Superstar, Do you think you're what they say you are?
...Close your eyes close your eyes and forget all about us tonight.
MARY MAGDALENE:
I don't know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I've been changed, yes really changed. In these past few days, when I've seen myself, I seem like someone else. I don't know how to take this. I don't see why he moves me. He's a man. He's just a man. And I've had so many men before, In very many ways, He's just one more. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love, Let my feelings out? I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about? Don't you think it's rather funny, I should be in this position. I'm the one who's always been So calm, so cool, no lover's fool, Running every show. He scares me so. I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about? Yet, if he said he loved me, I'd be lost. I'd be frightened. I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. I'd turn my head. I'd back away. I wouldn't want to know. He scares me so. I want him so. I love him so.
A blogger referred to the first song and I searched on it and found the other videos too.
About Sarah Brightman here and here. It stood at the net that she was (is) workaholic. She was the eldest of six children...
I can listen to Stabat Mater once and again without getting bored, especially the last three videos in my posting! They are just beautiful! I have heard quite a few times about my sensitive ear and adaptability as musician... (assuring myself of something?). The Hungarian-Swedish pianist Janos Solyom said "You have talent for playing piano!" And he also said something about my way of expressing myself in words (in a positive sense)! He who moved here as 18 years I think! But he is another musician/pianist with talent for language as Käbi Laretei!? My lust in expressing myself is enormous, not only in music??
Yes, he was born 1938 and moved here 1956.
Addition in the evening: Have visited one of my sisters (one of three sisters), living in the same town as I, but in the opposite part. And met my niece and two nephews I am so fond of!!! My niece S. 17 years is going to Brighton, England, tomorrow early, together with a friend. She sat watching manga-cartoons at youtube! My two nephews, the older D. 21 years (home for visit over Easter, lives in Gothenburg) and the younger J. soon 11 played video-games!
D.shouted: "k, what sort of movies do you like?" I had to think really? And interviewed him too. The "boys" offered me, very, very generously, to choose what I wanted to see: football (soccer), the whole family is football and floorball players, or rally (me and my siblings are really interested in different things and working with all different things)?? "Oh, I really don't know!??" I replied. "I who love both!" They smiled, because I think they know how interested I am actually!!?? And I think the offer was about watching when THEY were playing, hmmm!!?? That was really generous! And I really mean that!! They thought it was ok I was with them and watched them!?
The younger J. beat the older D. three times of four, and after a while this wasn't so fun I think for D.!! But he was very generous and overseeing a long time and smiling! I guess J. has trained video-games much, much more than D., even on his own. But now the older brother said he needed to socialize with his little brother and learn to know him! I got a little astonished over this "statement"! He has only lived on his own for half a year or something... But lives fairly apart from the family.
A year ago J. forced me to play football (video-game) with him! For the first I don't know anything about football, even though I have visited some matches as they all play football in (the whole) family (been sitting there freezing a couple of times watching). And I had never before played any video-game. So...There have never been so many tackles in the history before I think!! I had no idea whatsoever how to handle what I got in my hands!! J. almost choked with laughter. To be really honest I am not very interested in learning to play video-games either. It should be to be able to play with them then!!
S.'s room looked like... Hmmm, it was a real mess!! Clothes all over the floor - and things... It wasn't just because she was packing I think. But she had time showing me photos from her England-tour last summer!!
"I think you can come with me to my place!!" I said to J., the youngest boy. I didn't think he should be interested at all, but he didn't sound entirely "impossible"!
And when I came a very cute, small, black and white cat Lakrits met me! VERY social!! Their two cats are outdoor cats (but with access to shelter/s). We have an animal-protector in the family. One of my brothers, the children's uncle, works with animal protection.
In this blog I want to explore the effects of childhood experiences on individual lives, the health (not only the emotional/psychological, but also, and not least, the bodily/somatic), the society, why people seek themselves to power positions, the effect of childhood on politics.
With the ideas that imbue Alice Miller's work and writing.
And sometimes just share things I have read and come across and I agree with and couldn't have said better myself.
I work full time with young people since many years, as teacher in music (piano pedagogue), and am interested in these things, both privately/personally and professionally.
But my time is limited to write and blog, even if it probably doesn't look so.
I will devote myself to loud thinking a lot here I think. And this blog is also a way for me to collect texts, facts, links, sites I want to save for further use maybe.
Makt avslöjar en persons grundläggande moral …
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Crisis
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I suppose some people might wonder why I'm not completely hysterical. Why
would I be hysterical? The building where I've lived for 22 years is
scheduled fo...
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Pharmaceutical marketing expert witness [image: screen2largeMM]
Dr. Peter Rost is a former Pfizer Marketing Vice President providing
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Påskuppropet mot sjukförsäkringar
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Idag var det manifestation. Mycket bra. Jag var där. Mycket bra.
Men någonting gnagde mig på vägen hem. För stämningen var mer uppgiven än
arg, och det ä...
Arbeidet med ny side er i gang!
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Nå har arbeidet med domeneregistrering og nytt design startet og jeg gleder
meg til jeg kan vise dere resultatet! Det skal bli bra å få Psykiskbloggen
over...
Click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site.
Books I am referring to on this blog:
Bosch, Ingeborg: "Rediscovering the True Self"
Freyd, Jennifer J.: "Betrayal Trauma - The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse" ISBN 0-647-06806-8
Jenson, Jean: "Reclaiming Your Life" ISBN 91-46-17409-5
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Hvordan krenkede barn blir syke voksne" ISBN 82-15-00713-9 ("How Abused Children Become Unhealthy Adults")
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Inscribed bodies - Health Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse" ISBN 0-7923-7019-8
Lewis Herman, Judith: "Trauma and Recovery - From Domestic Violence to Political Terror" ISBN 086358430-6 (svensk översättning finns: ”Trauma och tillfrisknande” ISBN10: 9197263133, ISBN13: 9789197263139, Förlag: Göteborgs Psykoterapi Institut)
Miller, Alice: "Den dolda nyckeln" ISBN 91-46-15747-6 (The Untouched Key)
Miller, Alice: "Det självutplånande barnet och sökandet efter en äkta identitet" ISBN 91-7643-559-8 (The Drama of the Gifted Child)
Miller, Alice: "Du skall icke märka - variationer över paradistemat" ISBN 91-46-14374-2 (Thou Shalt Not Be Aware)
Miller, Alice: "Riv tigandets mur - sanning byggd på fakta" ISBN 91-46-16022-1 (Breaking Down the Wall of Silence)
Miller, Alice: "The Body Never Lies - The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting" ISBN 0-393-06065-9
Miller, Alice: "The Truth Will Set You Free - Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self" ISBN 0-465-04585-5
Miller, Alice: "Vägar i livet - sju berättelser" ISBN 91-46-17414-1 (Paths of Life - Seven Scenarios)
Pincus, Jonathan H.: "Base Instincts - What Makes Killers Kill?" ISBN 0-393-32323-4
Children baking...
Look, the joy in the children?? Enjoying what they are doing? (illustration from one of the books by Astrid Lindgren, click on the picture to go to her site).
"...of all the many forms of child abuse, emotional abuse may be the cruelest and longest-lasting of all.” "Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child's self-concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all children: love and protection." (Andrew Vachss)
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom." -- "Common Sense", Thomas Paine, January 10, 1776
"Modern education is competitive, nationalistic and separative. It has trained the child to regard material values as of major importance, to believe that his nation is also of major importance and superior to other nations and peoples. The general level of world information is high but usually biased, influenced by national prejudices, serving to make us citizens of our nation but not of the world." (Albert Einstein)
"Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last fifty years... Given these and other conditions of contemporary civilization, how can one claim that the ‘normal’ man is sane?" (R.D. Laing, 1967)
"Organizations take on characteristics of the people running them./.../ There's always pressure within groups to conform, anyway. The top monkey exerts the most pressure." (Steve Thomas)
"Yet many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible unadjustment of the culture itself." (Erich Fromm in The Sane Society, 1955)
When a big kid hits a little kid, we call it bullying. When an adult hits another adult, we call it assault. When the adults in a family hit each other we call it battering or domestic violence. When an adult hits a child we call it discipline..
“Blindness and lack of connectedness whether truly needed or not, are ultimately tragic solutions to life. These adaptations keep us from knowing ourselves and others fully. We end up fragmented both internally and externally – impoverished spiritually and socially /…/ it seriously constrains our human potential /…/ Survivors of childhood sexual abuse and betrayal blindness have learned to cope by being disconnected internally so as to manage a minimal kind of external connection. But with adult freedom and responsibility come the potential to break silence, to use voice and language to promote internal integration, deeper external connection, and a social transformation, Through communication – integration within ourselves and connection between individuals – we can become whole; embodied, aware, vital, powerful”(Jennifer Freyd in the chapter “Removing Blinders, Becoming Connected” in her book “Betrayal Trauma…”).
“If you are very strong you have to be very kind” (Pippi Longstocking)
“In psychiatry, too, what a person says and writes can’t be divorced from who he is and how he lives.” (Thomas Szasz).
“The method of Marshall Rosenberg is very nice and may be helpful to people who have not be[been??] severely mistreated in childhood. The latter ones however must find their pent up, LEGITIMATE rage and free themselves from the lies of our moral system. As long as they don't do this, their body will continue to scream for the truth with the help of symptoms" (Alice Miller)
“To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which shall really increase the happiness and welfare and virtue of mankind - this is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely it is a good haven to sail for" (Henry van Dyke)
“‘I have never met a man,’ said Grandma Georgina, ‘who talks so much absolute nonsense!’ ‘A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,’ Mr Wonka said.” (Roald Dahl)
Look at his facial expression! Angrily carving… The stubborn, disobedient child... Or? How does he feel there in his joiner's workshop? (click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site).
About the ACE-study:
"It's not just water under the bridge."
ACEs are surprisingly common among people of all social strata, and have far-reaching consequences. For many people, it's not possible to "just get over it".
What's an ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience i.e. "skadlig barndomserfarenhet")? Adverse Childhood Experience is growing up experiencing any of the following conditions in the household prior to age 18:
1. Recurrent physical abuse
2. Recurrent emotional abuse
3. Contact sexual abuse
4. An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the household
5. An incarcerated household member
6. Someone who is chronically depressed, mentally ill, institutionalized, or suicidal
I don't like being photographed, and don't have many photos of myself but here are some, though fairly old! Click on the picture to see two more pictures.
I was born in Umeå in Västerbotten, Sweden, and moved during childhood stepwise to Skåne in the south, and at last back to just below the middle of Sweden where I still live.
I am educated both as piano-pedagogue and church-musician and have a full time employment as piano-pedagogue. Church-music is side work.
I am interested in a lot of things and will blog about things I read, psychology, society, history, nature, my work too hopefully, and my everyday life… And both in Swedish and English.
This is a blog, with my (sometimes very) personal - and loud reflections on what I read, see, hear, react on, feel for - and not feel for and want to explore. I don't work in this field at all, but I have my reflections and thoughts nevertheless and have read fairly a lot I think, and here I reflect upon all this. I am searching myself forward. I link sites for information, if one want to know more about what I am talking/writing about and what is mentioned in the texts I am citing and referring to. And I link sites not least for my own sake. So it isn’t sure I agree with all that is linked on this blog, that's not why I link sites. I can agree with parts of what is linked, bigger or smaller, from almost everything to almost nothing.
I hope those who perhaps find my blog are reading everything here critically - including what stands in what I link.
And when it comes to therapy and all (self)help-concepts I think one shall be very careful. Maybe as a friend said it:
“Meaningful critical thinking.
Psychotherapists have been claiming that they have invented better treatment methods since Sigmund Freud in 1897. The amount of psychological distress in the world hasn’t become less. There’s money to be made from attracting more clients, whether the therapy works or not.