Book review...

I had to write, despite all I have to do...

In the book reviews this morning at TV they spoke about the Swedish book "Alexandramannen" ("The Alexandra-man") by the journalist Katia Wagner.

A man, then in his twenties (now he is 31), called himself "Alexandra" on sites young people visit (chat-rooms etc.?). He contacted young girls and spoke about careers as models.

The reviewer Yukiko Duke referred to sites where you can publish photos on yourself and where how you look is scored. If you publish an ordinary photo you can get the judgment "pretty". But if you show a little more you get higher scores, and if you show even more even higher scores. And if you are naked the highest.

When this man had got the young girls confidence, he said they could earn even more money on selling sex (than on being models).

What was shown among his victims is that they came from all social environments (not only at the bottom of society). A common factor for all his victims was that they had bad adult-relations. And were concerned with if they were seen as pretty (snygga)? Popular? "Good enough" to earn love and attention?

The youngest victim was 12 years old.

Oh, it's so awful this... Difficult to write about...

Young people exploited because of their injuries probably? Injuries of all different kinds? I think of this phenomenon in general... Where the story about Helga is one example!!?? How peoples injuries can be used in therapy and so called help too! To fill the perpetrators (more or less perverse) needs??

And this probably occurs both here and there in society without us being aware of it (in different forms)??

I think Miller is right; she writes somewhere that perversions can become accepted in society, because we want to look as we are liberal, free and not judging (or how she expresses this?)... But then these perversions take other forms.

I got two tips about the 75-year old counsel for the defense (???) Tor Erling Staff again (and about abuse of children in general), who has gone out in Norwegian media claiming he wanted to have sex with older men as 12-year old see here. Also see Miller on Wilhelm Reich (the first half of this posting, with references, is in Swedish, the second in English)!

The author had interviewed the perpetrator too, got his confidence to that degree. He meant that sexual maturity has "gone down" in age, to 12-years. Today all young people are so enlightened about all those things. And referred to our youth centers (ungdomsmottagningar, the link is in English) where young people can get birth control information/help at an early age. So he thought they were mature enough, and that he had done no wrong...

Yes, and the violations are justified with all different things, "explanations", justifications etc.?

Yes, that about exploiting both young (even small) and adult peoples injuries... because that's what it is about?? And this is done more or less scrupulously!?

And when I searched on this I found a blogposting ("To be the most good-looking saps") about the Swedish "pop"-singer Charlotte Perelli who seems to have said that her dress in the Melody-festival on TV was SO tight so she could hardly breathe and had to lean on a desk, because she couldn't sit down in it really... Phew!

"Vill man vara fin får man lida pin"

is a say here. I am not sure how one would translate this, but the meaning is that if you want to be good-looking you have to suffer torments (sometimes even enormous torments?? Plastic surgeries, you are training extremely hard etc. Jane Fonda was bulimic, and cut off from her family she says now, as if it was an invisible wall between her and her husband and children and friends, when she all the time thought of and was occupied with how she should be able to sneak into a bathroom, and where the bathroom was located. Noone knew about her eating disturbances, not even in her nearest family, she thinks, and maybe it was so?).

How many aren't I wonder, to become good enough?? Trying in all possible ways?? Some by being extremely clever and good girls/boys (if they have no other options, or apparently no other options)?? This is so sad... Oh, I would like to draw a blanket over me, and disappear... Into nowhere. Not being reachable or accessible... Living my life in nowhere... With and in the nature...

Yes, Stettbacher talks about "perverted needs", and that's what it is about?

A general reflection over our says (in Swedish).

Further reflections in the shower: injuries made to injured by injured!!??

And I think there is violence that is legalized and legitimized in society too!?? Violence and violations we maybe don't even notice or see?? Which we are blind to? (made blind to??) Things we don't even regard as violations, which actually are violations??

And abuse goes on and on and on!!! And we are standing there nonplussed (handfallna) and help/powerless!?? The whole society is nonplussed!!?? Why is that?

Addition in the evening: see this reader' letter at Miller's web about "Unwanted children?"
Where it for instance stands:

"From my perspective...the truth about parents that continue to justify the virtues of beating their own children, is that they never wanted the child in the first place.

The child is seen as a burden, a mouth to feed. The adult either consciously or more often unconsciously hates the child. The adult takes personally every tantrum or misbehavior that the child expresses.

The adult has neither the intelligence nor maturity to look beyond the moment and see the child's frustration or acting out as a need for love and guidance. Instead the child is shown violence which further alienates and distresses the child."

Miller's replies for instance:

"You are right, unwanted children are usually mistreated. But there exist as a rule also a huge amount of people who were 'wanted' indeed, but only for playing the role of the victims that their parents needed to be able to take revenge on.

They were wanted to give their parents what the parents never had gotten from their own parents: love, adoration, attention and so many other things. Otherwise, why would so many people have five or more children when they have no time for them? Why do they adopt children if their body refuses to give them what they apparently 'want?'"