true, not obsessive, care and love? Dear friends?Där står:
"Dan hade gjort slut med en kvinna som han var mycket attraherad av efter att ha blivit utnyttjad av henne, men han hade ändå svårt att låta bli att följa efter henne så fort han såg hennes bil.
Eftersom hans känslor var så starka, var han rädd att han kanske trots allt fattat fel beslut - tills han upplevde den smärta som utlöstes av insikten att han aldrig upplevt att bli älskad som barn utan endast utnyttjats.
Efter denna insikt var det aldrig något problem för Dan om han råkade träffa på kvinnan."
As his feelings were so strong he was worried that he maybe had done something wrong when he had cut off with this woman - until he experienced the pain which was released by the insight that he had never experienced how it was to be loved as a child but only exploited.
After this insight there were no problems for Dan at all if he saw this woman. He was totally free from her and didn't have to follow her compulsively...
About compulsive disorders here... Are they possible to treat just by telling a person to change behavior??? What are the roots? Treatments are manipulative?? The therapists are afraid of hearing the truths that are underlying?? And thus they can't help the person with problems, even if she/he wants...
Even if she/he thinks she/he has a problem and doesn't feel comfortable at all being obsessed by a person she/he doesn't get much back from or maybe less and less... On the contrary gets more and more obsessed the less contact he/she gets...
There are many books on how to protect oneself against this sort of persons...
Found this about good and bad obsessions!! I got a lot of hits when I searched on "being obsessed" so obviously this is something a lot of people have problems or wonders or thoughts about!!?? See here, here a book about confusing love with obsession! You can be obsessed with cellulites... Or obsessed with yourself... Being obsessed with girls...
Addition February 5: thought on this further after I had written this posting (tired when I wrote it). Yes, I am very critical to a lot of help and help-books, which I think are pretty moralizing... Not wanting to deal with or see the roots underneath?? (But, yes, there exists people not wanting to deal with what's underneath either too!?? As with group-therapy with for sex-criminals: some realized what they had done when they were allowed to question and see as wrong what they had endured. While others couldn't admit these things to themselves,couldn't access the truth or pain at all).
Dan was compulsively occupied or obsessed, stuck (self-destructively) with this woman to the degree that he just had to follow her... But he didn’t feel comfortable with this though? Despite this he just had to do as he did, confused over the compulsion (of following her on distance?). Until he got access to something… Then there were no problems any more with her. She had lost her "spell" over him. He realized she didn't mean anything to him actually!? He had just reenacted something from early in his life, trying to earn love from someone who treated him badly (and maybe even very badly)!? The badder he was treated the more occupied he became??
But he would have remained occupied with her if he had only been told to avoid her by a helper/therapist (if he had only been encouraged to go against his feelings, encouraged to train to do the opposite from what he just had to)!!?? Now he got appropriate help, and after that it was no problems with this woman any more (and no problems for this woman either, if she had had problems with him).
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