Not only Staff...

photos on Tor Erling Staff.

[Updated January 14 and 17 in the end]. Making my first real post on this new blog.

I got a tip from a friend this morning about an article about sexual abuse of children and a Norwegian man exposed to sexual abuse as 12-year old boy, the now retired Norwegian lawyer Tor Erling Staff (about him at wikipedia, though only in Norwegian), belittling and minimizing the damage he was caused.

His recent client is a pedophile, the so called "lommemannen", which has been sexually abusing several hundred small boys in Norway the last three decades, that has been caught in Norway recently, which was a big news in Sweden too.

See earlier blogposts about defences, because what this man is doing is defending himself against the truth to what he has been exposed to. He admits to the abuse he has suffered, he remembers it, but the feelings that would be adequate aren't connected to this. These he has suppressed? Probably immediately? And one can wonder what he has been exposed to even earlier in his life.

And the bad thing is that he goes out in public with this denial, he doesn't keep it for himself...

I came to think that Miller has actually written about Wilhelm Reich somewhere (maybe I come back to this) and his minimizing of the sexual abuse he was exposed to by a maiden in the family as only 4-year old, which she thinks is a protection against the utter pain the true realization would be. I think she is right.

Earlier blogposts about minimizing and belittling, and about Tor Erling Staff (both in English and Swedish).

I googled on him and in one article he says that the respect for the child is ruining, destroying the society. In another he says he has had sex with everything that can crawl or walk either it has two legs or four... Grew up in the upper middle-class? And seems to have been a very controversial lawyer in Norway... No wonder...

A female incest-victim in Norway had this man as defender, see here and here. She reacts over Staff's belittling and minimizing these issues! This woman killed her father 2000 as 38 years and Staff was the only lawyer she knew of and asked him. Her father had been abusing her sexually from she was a child up in teenage...

The article (in Norwegian):

"Ikke bare Staff.

Det er ingen grunn til å tro at hadde Tor Erling Staff vært uskadeliggjort, ville alt vært greit. Bagatellisering av overgrep mot barn skjer daglig, på mange fronter.

Tor Erling Staffs uttalelser om seksuelle overgrep mot barn opprører oss. Staff sier ting som er virkelig avskyelige. Han er helt på jordet når han legger skylden på politiet om smågutter blir traumatisert av å bli utsatt for orale overgrep fra voksne menn [Staff blames the police that boys gets traumatized by oral sexual abuse by men!!! It's the police's fault; if they didn't make this an issue there wouldn't be any damage he means?].

Hjelpeapparatet

Men bagatellisering av overgrep mot barn skjer mange steder. Blant annet i barnepsykiatrien, som ikke registrerer overgrepene blant de fleste av sine overgrepsutsatte pasienter. Da en undersøkelse av norsk barne- og ungdomspsykiatri ble offentliggjort for to år siden, kom det ingen reaksjon fra verken helseministeren, andre politikere, eller fra psykiatrien [investigations have shown that the psychiatry doesn't make any records over abuse their patients have been exposed to and dared to talk about? When this investigation actually was made public in Norway no ministers in the government reacted - of course!?].

Selv har jeg hørt en psykolog omskrive overgrep mot barn til Ødipus-komplekset (innlegg i Tidsskrift for psykisk helsearbeid 4/2006). Og jeg har opplevd at det har blitt brukt samme type uprofesjonell begrunnelse som Staff bruker, for å bagatellisere - i dette tilfellet fysiske - overgrep mot barn, ved at psykologen hevdet at han selv ikke hadde blitt skadet av å ha blitt utsatt for vold som barn [The author of this debate-article writes in a magazine for work on psychological health that a psychologist ascribed abuse the Oedipus-complex!!! And that a psychologist meant that he himself hadn't been damaged by violence he was exposed to as a child!! Very unprofessional from both Staff and the psychologist! I come to think of what the Norwegian physician Anna-Luise Kirkengen writes in the foreword to her book 'How Abused Children Becomes Unhealthy Adults' something about that her book is directed to all dealing with victims of abuse of all kinds and in all different circumstances, including that of lawyers! *see the bottom of this blogpost what Kirkengen writes, at the asterisk].

En prest som har tatt doktorgrad på seksualforbrytere og jobber som terapeut, mener at barneporno muligens kan brukes til noe positivt: som hjelp i det terapeutiske arbeidet. Barneporno er filmede eller fotograferte reelle overgrep mot barn. Hvorfor skrek ikke halve nasjonen opp etter en slik uttalelse? Jeg ble så sjokkert da jeg leste det at jeg skrev til vedkommendes biskop. Men det kom intet svar fra biskopen [a Norwegian priest/minister working as therapist with children exposed to sexual abuse means child-porno maybe can be used as something positive. Horrible.].

Eller hva med barnevernet? I rapporten Barnevernet og incestsaker fra Redd Barna og Støttesenter mot incest - Oslo leser vi:

- Fagfolk er redde for å gå inn i slike saker! Slik var det for noen år siden. Slik er det i dag, sier en saksbehandler. Mange barnevernsansatte opplever at de er alene på arbeidsplassen om å tro at det har skjedd overgrep [People are very lonely believing they are the one and only exposed to abuse because the silence around these issues.].

En fostermor var sikker på at fosterdatteren var misbrukt, men ble ikke hørt av barnevernet, som truet: - Hvis dere ikke slutter å være så opphengt i overgrep, vil vi vurdere å overlate barnet til noen andre.

Barneoppdragerne

Sammenhengen mellom fysisk og seksuell vold er fortsatt i liten grad erkjent i samfunnet. Selv om det kom mange og kraftige reaksjoner i høst da Carl I. Hagen, Aslam Ahsan med flere gikk ut i media og bagatelliserte fysisk avstraffelse av barn, forble dette et ikke-tema.

En avstemning VG gjorde, viste at hele 46,5 prosent godtok rising av barn. Det er åpenbart ikke bare Staff som ikke skjønner hva traumer hos barn er.

Oslos ordfører Fabian Stang, som selv er advokat, engasjerer seg nå mot Staffs uttalelser. Han sier Staff kan ha brutt Straffelovens § 140, der det heter at den som offentlig oppfordrer eller tilskynder til iverksettelsen av en straffbar handling eller forherliger en sådan, kan straffes med bøter eller med fengsel i inntil åtte år, eventuelt 2/3 av den høyeste straff for det aktuelle lovbruddet.

Men hvorfor reagerte ikke Stang etter Aslam Ahsans forsvar for vold mot barn? Oslo kommune har vært med og finansiert et senter for barn som Ahsan leder. Mener kommunen at de som forherliger vold er egnet til å arbeide med barn?

Mørkemennene

Så har vi enkelte kristenfundamentalisters bagatellisering av seksuelle overgrep mot barn, ved å likestille homofili og liberal seksualmoral med pedofili.

Stortingsrepresentant André Oktay Dahl (H) har fortalt at han får uhyggelige brev på grunn av sitt arbeid for felles ekteskapslov, homoplan og bedre homo-rettigheter. På nettstedet Gaysir kan vi lese utdrag av et, som påstår at 'homofile er like farlige overgripere mot barn og unge som de pedofile'.

Denne brevskriveren er ikke den eneste som ikke viker tilbake for å sammenlikne homofili med seksuelle overgrep mot barn. Espen Ottosen, informasjonsleder i Norsk Luthersk Misjonssamband, skrev i en kronikk i Aftenposten: "På det seksuelle området har relativismen fått en enorm innflytelse. Et tankevekkende utslag av denne relativismen var reaksjonene som kom til uttrykk da Tor Erling Staff ... fortalte at han som 12-åring hadde gode seksuelle opplevelser sammen med andre menn', og at 'få våget å hevde at tilfeldig sex som involverer et barn alltid er galt'.

Den gode kristne mann gjorde seg skyldig i brudd på det åttende bud. For Staff møtte motbør. Jeg var selv en, av flere, som hadde innlegg mot Staff da han gikk ut med dette i 2005.

Å kalle en tolvåring mann, og dermed ansvarliggjøre barn for sexmisbruk, er grovt. Å knytte en seksualmoral som er mer liberal enn mørkemannens til det å ha sex med barn, framstiller de aller fleste av oss voksne, heterofile eller homofile, som seksualovergripere.

At de mest skadelige overgrepene ofte skjer i den tradisjonelle, heterofile familien, tok ikke Ottosen seg bryet med å nevne. Men da er det jo heller ikke lenger snakk om 'tilfeldig sex', men ofte langvarige og systematiske krenkelser fra de nærmeste.

Folkeopplyserne

Staff bør ikke gjøres til den ene syndebukken, for å avlaste fellesskapet. Mye mer kan gjøres på dette feltet. Her har særlig fagfolk - fortrinnsvis de med kompetanse på traumer hos barn - en viktig oppgave.

I dag er noen av dem på banen og snakker om 'Lommemannens' antatte psyke. Men selv om den noe omstridte diagnosen dissosiativ lidelse skulle referere til et faktisk psykisk fenomen, der vedkommendes egne traumer fra barndommen er fraspaltet bevisstheten, så vet enhver voksen tenkende person at overgrep mot barn er galt og straffbart.

Burde ikke psykologer og andre profesjonelle bli flinkere enn de er i dag til å opplyse allmennheten om de alvorlige konsekvensene for mange ofre for overgrep, slik at potensielle overgripere der ute kunne velge å søke hjelp framfor å ødelegge barns liv?

Og vi andre kunne se litt på våre holdninger."

* Yes, Kirkengen in fact writes:

"I address this book about how personal integrity violations lead to illness to my colleagues who practice, do research, teach and write within the field of general and specialized medicine. I also address researchers and clinicians within health-related professions, such as nurses, psychologists, physiotherapists, midwives, pediatric nurses, and consultants in ergonomics. Furthermore, I address all professionals working with children, such as teachers, child care consultants, speech therapists, social workers, and special education teachers. I wish, moreover, to reach those in the legal professions. This includes the police because lawyers, judges and police personnel come in contact with people, old and young, who are being hurt or have been hurt in the past by other people's lack of respect for their personal integrity.

I also address politicians and lawmakers since they are in a position to translate knowledge regarding boundary violation into viable initiatives and laws. The initiatives must have as their goal the prevention of humiliation, violation, injury or abuse, particularly of people who are young and dependent. They must also aim to insure that all people, regardless of where they are or where they go, can trust that they will be valued and treated with respect. Laws must have as their aim that all people, especially those who are small and dependent, who have already been humiliated, violated, injured or abused receive the help they need, and in abundance. They must also aim to insure that all people who have been treated with disrespect or contempt can regain their sense of self-worth and self-respect.

First and foremost, however, I address this work to students within medicine and other health professions. My declared aim here is to point out in what ways a dualistic view of the human being and his body is untenable, how it leads both to a dualistic health system, one somatic and the other psychiatric, and to a dualistic conceptual world, divided into one classification system for somatic illnesses and another for mental illnesses. Medicine and related fields of study rest on this divided and dividing knowledge and students are trained to think those terms. I beg students not to allow this way of thinking to wipe out what they know about themselves, and, consequently, about other people as well: that they are unique individuals with mindful bodies.

In the hope that this book may also reach people outside the medical professions, I have chosen to use everyday language. Issues of integrity and violation are, in fact, themes all people share. We are all vulnerable, not just a few of us. In addition to our being mortal, what human beings have in common is the fact that we can all be humiliated."

Addition January 14: Silent reflection during a walk in the morning: Does Staff want the whole society to join his personal denial? Soon turning 75 years, with more and more weakening defenses? Maybe he even wants to convince himself that he wanted it, that it was good for him, that all children want this? As Wilhelm Reich did if I remember what Miller wrote right? Awful and so sad...

In the afternoon: Staff has the power and the position... He can allow himself to go out and say such things. And he is allowed too, even if I know people have reacted... I couldn't help wonder:think if Staff had been a woman. Could a woman do such a thing?

Addition January 17: more articles/opinions about Staff and what he has put forward recently here, here and here. People questioning and defending. Even a man charged for sexual abuse (of children?) is critical, even furious. Saying that what Staff has said legitimizes abuse, and of course the abusers

"...loves when something says it is ok to paw children."

Miller has written about successful therapy with men in prison for incest... If these men (and women) get an opportunity to question and view what they have endured themselves as (small, maybe even very small) children, they can realize what they ave done...