Boycott Dr Phil…

A future pianist? Can anyone resist this smile? You just HAVE to smile back, don't you? From mini-concert today.

[Updated in the evening and May 20]. I would want to blog about the article ”Bojkotta Dr Phil” or “Boycott Dr Phil” later. I haven't finished my working-day yet though... See earlier postings with the label Dr Phil "Emotional Abuse as harmful as corporal punishment?" and "The pursuit of harmony.."


One of my pupils playing Für Elise.

Addition in the evening: The author of the article (in a local newspaper here) writes that she laid zapping between different TV-channels when she suddenly saw Philip McGraw.

She writes that she detests him and that she has had enough of self help books. Some years ago she wrote a review on one of his thick books and was met with opposition from both wise and stupid people in her circle of acquaintances.

“What are you complaining about?”

one said.

“Dr Phil not only gives people good advices, he also helps people for whom it has gone wrong in life practically.”

Yes, I know, she writes. But I also know that this man has made a multi billion fortune on spreading his ideas with a pretended godlike infallibility on how we in the west world (each one of us) shall become well adapted and happy [being obedient and keeping quiet?]. Dr Phil is the biggest, and the west world is abounded with self-help books and articles in newspapers in his spirit, because this is something lucrative.

Yes, certainly!

In the developing countries where people are struggling against starvation and deadly diseases advices like the ones in these books are of course meaningless.

The needs for self help seems to be enormous in our part of the world, so when I am critical to them I feel both split and confused when I try to understand why I am so angry she writes.

Yes, I think one can become…

She thinks what the self-help books are concentrating on are given truths: that one can feel sorry for human beings and that our need for comfort is limitless. In these books we shall become pupils to the authors and learn to become safer, wiser, more aware about our selves, more effective, healthy, beautiful etc. etc. Through hard inner will and thought power we shall chastise ourselves, see our flaws and improve. And in this way reach our true inner selves and find happiness.

When we admit to our limits, our guilt, then… See earlier posting on “Psychotherapy as indoctrination...”

Of course this sounds great, she writes. Ideas that permeate the west-word’s philosophy of life and more or less steer our thoughts. Thoughts the super-guru Phil is allowed to cement in our consciousnesses many times a day through million TVs as if these were in-debatable truths to follow.

She thinks it’s a pity that those books contributes to creating and adding fuel to a private-egoism, a focusing on the own self which stands in contrast to human kindness – and socialism (as she writes! Even though I am left-oriented politically, to be honest, I don't think these things HAVE to have with socialism to do I have to add :-) Even though I grew up in a middle-class family where all are well-educated and academics, and we had it fairly well materially).

Addition May 20: The power on many levels, maybe all, is (strongly) interested in dividing and ruling? Not interested in that people genuinely care about each other and truly cooperate? Caring both about themselves in a sound way and about others in a sound way too. What is a sound egoism and what is an unsound? Because of course we probably need to protect ourselves too many times! But protect ourselves effectively and constructively and not self-destructively or destructively, i.e. not harming ourselves or others - or the nature etc. But are the advices and tools we get effective for this? Miller is right: we are in denial about the true roots and causes, and the methods we use in dealing with problems are accordingly ineffective?

Yes, the results are those?

She thinks what’s wrong with those books is that they act as an intermediary in the belief that a human being can develop herself by own power (and will). But she thinks this isn’t possible, because human beings can only grow in interplay with others.

In one of these books (or actually many of them) it stands “love yourself” but life’s great gift isn’t that to love each other (and truly love), and when this happens isn't that a miracle (my addition)? She wonders if those fighting for their careers, their money, their looks and appearances, firmly, hardly encased in the importance of their own selves are the happiest.

She thinks that in those self-help books people seem to be divided in closed ME’s while "the others" serves as usable and preferably admiring objects. About the joy in deep friendship one can’t read, and nothing about goodness human beings between. The self-help human being shall counteract her negative feelings such as guilt and shame. But think of a world without these feelings, how would that world actually be?

She is however hoping that the small children still smiling at us with their teeth like grains of rice (risgrynständer) will understand in twenty years that egoism is a lonely and unhappy state, a state that has to be done something about.

She writes that between Dr Phil, the guru, and a mom a 16-year old pregnant girl was sitting on the TV crying while Dr Phil strictly told the mother that she should have given her daughter sex instructions in time!!!

After this she couldn’t see more and turned the TV off.

When I had read this article this morning and was on my way to work I threw some words down that was triggered (written with deep irony): What weakling are you? Who can’t manage your life? Not keeping things in check and control!!

Writing for a couple of hours after work. Have had three small pianists, they started playing piano a 6 year, and have played four years soon, playing in a quite big wind-orchestra this evening for the first time.