Silence makes the violence possible…

A Swedish man Jonas Doll has written a debate article “Tystnaden gör våldet möjligt” or ”The Silence Makes Violence Possible.” He thinks the responsibility lies heavily on every man speaking loudly where it usually is silent; in the barrack-room, in the changing-room, on the school-yards and in the staff’s rooms. He says that

“We [men] need to dare talking about the connection with the manliness culture.”

He is thinking on and referring to two cases in Sweden recently and the case in Austria where a man held his daughter as prisoner and sex slave for 24 years. “Constantly this violence that can’t be explained (can’t it?)”he writes.

“Constantly these men, enclosed in what could be madness but which through its perpetual presence of course is an expression of something which is much more difficult to keep at distance, a perversion which reaches deeper, nearer.”

What’s characterizing these men is that their violence takes place in isolation, a sort of “illiteracy” [not literally], and at the same time a sort of acceptable normality he thinks. They are differing, diverging, marginalized, but lives under both an inner and outer pressure not to see or give expression to.

Jonas Doll thinks these men are powerless men. The only power they have is the physical strength over the victim and, what’s more important, an inability to relinquish this power.

He writes about a manliness that has become deformed, that has been shaped into this. Yes, what is this about?

He wonders

“Whose is the fault? Who is the guilty to this inability handling the power?”

Long ago he met a bird (tjej) he says. They saw a film together about two women, but also about power and powerlessness, over and under order, and the woman spoke about structural oppression and patriarchy… Being stuck in the structures, structures ruling. Which he said he damn wouldn’t accept.

He thinks a man is born to power. To give this up is to discipline the impulse to be first, be obvious. The responsibility lies heavy on each of us (men) speaking loudly about these things, everywhere where it usually is silent (se above).

Not speaking up is to give space to the structures which makes power abuse possible, to the manliness culture which makes violence possible, a sort of school yard terror where the weak succumb.

It’s above everything, around the silence little by little closing, that these tragedies becomes possible: nobody knows, all that is violence has happened “by the side of” so to say, but, nevertheless, in a kind of perverted way becomes part of a normal and respectable identity, as in those three cases mentioned above.

The darkness’ heart is the lack of courage; not daring to see the connections, not putting oneself up against them, but instead fall into them, passively confirming them. Of course this doesn’t always lead to unbelievable crimes, but it's always a risk being the first step on the path there.

See earlier posting on psychotherapy, power abuse, blaming the victim, Freud, Melanie Klein… Though mostly in Swedish. I would like to blog about this again I felt when I reread this posting.

And the posting "Seeing, Hearing or speaking no evil..."

A blogger also writes about the case in Austria, angrily and ironically. Some people think men are the new witches in modern witch-hunts...