Something I read gave me an aha-experience (when I searched on aha-experience "Eureka!!" came up), a person thinking that all creative activity, whatever, is a communication with ones genuine, true self. You have to ask all the time (during the creative activity) what you want, what you like, what awakes you to life - and then express this. A sort of research into oneself? To shape or form yourself. Maybe this is even more important for a person who has been indistinct or vague and to a high degree invisible.
But this isn’t always the case I would say as working in an artistic profession!!! There are so much there what you shall and not shall, what you shall like and not like, work with or not!!! And we shall be sensitive to our pupils and their needs and wishes. But does these two have to be opposites?
Yes – and I must be allowed this too was what struck me!! I must be allowed to prefer some sorts of creative expressions more than other, because I feel for them. At least privately! Even if I have to use music in my work I am not always very fond of.
But this doesn’t have to mean I put what I prefer above other expressions! But, of course it can be so too; that people put their own before other people’s choices and preferences, thinking this is better than other peoples' choices. Many times they/we do. Is this even more forbidden for me than for others?
I have a male colleague just above 30 having very strong preferences for certain music, composers etc. And who also strongly dislikes other forms, sorts, composers, even instruments!!
My preferences, what I like more or most; in music, in other artistic expressions is me. Or an expression for what my history has formed me to. Maybe which can make me visible and distinct more and more, the more I listen to this, which I think I haven't really done. Something I should answer to much more than I do? Not be ashamed of or silence or make invisible?
Allow myself gladly.
Because this is me, what I feel for, what communicates with me!
And I read something else which also made me wonder and react strongly at against this morning before I went to work (and hadn't time blog about it then) what Miller said about true enlightenment…Had to search for it. Found it in my amateur translation from this posting:
Miller writes (page 145 in the Swedish edition of ”The Drama…”) that a human being who has worked her/his own destiny’s tragedy through consciously can at last (much more) plainly apprehend her human fellow beings suffering, even if that person still has to belittle it.
"She can’t make fun of (or scorn) other people’s feelings [people still struggling with their healing for instance, and maybe not so successfully], of whatever sort they are, if she can take her own feelings seriously. She will not let the vicious circle of contempt continue."
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