Silent reflections...

Yes, it’s strange: children need regulations and restrictions. Because of their inherited traits and drives??

But adult people don’t need any regulations or restrictions? Or some DO need, but others don’t!?? It depends. On what actually (quite ironically)? On what power you have? How much money you have? And who has the power and money in this world?

If we were capable of showing children true, genuine respect, then…?

Now we have to use other means!? Threats, manipulation, regulations, limit setting etc.

There are boundaries and boundaries.

We treat our children differently, because they have different needs we say!? Girls (already the very small, yes, the small baby) have certain needs, boys (small boys, already the small baby-boy) others we claim (what are those claims actually about?). (And) what do we actually know about those needs or what are those ideas actually mirroring? Are those ideas a protection against a too painful truth? And an excuse for how we behave, how we actually feel, that we don't feel the same for the different individuals? The solution to that is to admit that we feel differently, it's just like that it is!!?

A female cousin actually admitted recently that girls and boys are valued differently! Boys are a little more worth... She doesn't have any brothers, as I have, only a (2 year older) sister. Admitted that her mother values boys and girls differently. She had namely just met my two brothers and was so charmed by them! It felt to me that she would never say anything like this about the female part of the "family"!!! How cute, charmy, nice etc. a female part was... But do I as grown up need such a confirmation? And if I do, why?

But both boys and girls are probably badly treated, anyway... In different and the same ways... But this causes problems later, bigger or smaller (was this also a/the reason for treating the small child badly, so she/he didn't think...??? Thinking she/he was something worth, worth being loved, worth treated good, respected,valued).

The dad not seeing his daughter, treating her as she didn’t exist and wasn't worth a nickel, as she was stupid, very little knowing. Treating her with contempt. Contempt for weakness, for insecurity… Treating her like she was shit.

The mother beating her small (and later also not so small) son… Beating HIS self-confidence out of him in a certain way.

What can we do about this later, when those two are grown up? Who has to think of who? Who has to do something about this? Who has the responsibility for making something, changing things? Only the woman? Or only the man? Or should the work come from them both actually? Don’t both of them have responsibility for trying to change the state of affairs?

Struggling on my own with everything, all different things... With differing results... Really.