9/01/2009

Loud thinking…

[Updated Septemer 2]. “It’s all about to start treating kids well!” Yes, we shall not spank or beat kids, not scream at them or at anybody else when kids are witnessing. We can (and should) change our behavior.

But more people ought to be interested in understanding themselves, so we can avoid as much as possible of unconscious manipulation. We should maybe be interested in this for our own sake too.

We should call things in our childhood in question and get support in seeing these things as wrong.

Does such help exist from professionals though?

I am not sure we have to (or should) settle account with our parents or early caregivers… We shouldn’t do this in a violent way. The best would we if we could bring this up with them as adult to adult. In many cases this is not possible though.

I think those who should need to change the most are the less inclined or willing to do this. While others blame themselves harshly for not being “perfect.” But the latter probably have fewer reasons to question themselves. I think.

Addition September 2: It's not about just understanding with your head. If it was everything would be solved already. You have to understand your kid on an emotional level to a certain degree too to avod harming her/him, I think...

2 kommentarer:

Erica sa...

"Addition September 2: It's not about just understanding with your head. If it was everything would be solved already. You have to understand your kid on an emotional level to a certain degree too to avod harming her/him, I think..."

I so totally agree with you!
How many parent´s know their children at an emotional level?

k sa...

Yes,you are so right! I happened to come across a Peter Haiman PhD writing about childrearing, see this article for instance: http://www.peterhaiman.com/articles/the-self-disciplined-child.shtml

His whole homsesite: http://www.peterhaiman.com/