Blaming the victim it’s all about power…

Yes, so it is, from the lowest level to the highest! A blogvisitor had searched on this and it made me very interested so I searched on it too.

See the following articles: “The global financial mess: blaming the victims” by Ann Pettifor, “Blaming the Victim: Domestic and Codependency model” by Greg Dear, “The Shame of Blaming the Victims – In a desperate attempt to protect the president, the right wing has resorted to blaming the victims” by Amanda Marcotte, “Victims are never to blame for coercive, abusive ‘relationships’ – in this guest post, Cara Grayling tackles our victim-blaming culture.” And “Male nurse ‘abused 23 patients.”

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Further thoughts: Yes, if you are in a power-position of any kind you have to be careful!? So you don't misuse your position... By claiming the person under you is the one in fault and to blame. But you probably don't have to swallow everything either... But this is tricky, knowing what is what. If the critic is justified or not, and/or to what to degree.

I am thinking of a moderator on a list for people abused in childhood (a list that was authorized by Alice Miller) to be more concrete. How the (female) moderator behaved. Something that perhaps wasn't shown or noticed, because it occurred off-list. And people who maybe became abused on the list by the moderator had nowhere to turn!

And I wonder how this might have harmed people. And maybe badly. Because people turned to this list for help and in the name of Alice Miller...

I think people also experienced that they became/were surrounded by silence, because nobody replied to their postings. But three years ago it wasn't possible to speak about this and the connected feelings. The experience of the Wall of Silence as Miller has written about!! Whether this feeling was right or not. People becoming silenced in a subtle, but maybe very intentional, way. Maybe this sound paranoiac, and it would be easy to dismiss as just paranoia!!! And thus refuse to listen to the critics and the questioning of state of affairs??

If there was nothing to hide there would be no problem to communicate these things? But of course only to a certain level (with all that follows with this: knowing where the limit goes). With all respect for the difficulties involved here. But I see no reason to be very understanding here. I think people are entitled to have (very) high demands on a list in the name of Alice Miller.

My feeling, which can be wrong, is that the list in question was a healthier place before the female moderator took over it.

And you weren't allowed to use a lot of question or exclamation marks. Then you became questioned. One solution to this would have been to skip these as the probably clever girl you had always been. Adjusting and adapting. What about emphatically understand this overuse (if it was an overuse?)? And/or wonder why the person in question used those expressions instead of other expressions? What was lying underneath?

People becoming unsubscribed: how abusive had they been before they became unsubscribed? On what terms did they become unsubscribed? Did they get to know this? And why not? What reasons? The moderator had no duties telling the one she unsubscribed? Was the one becoming unsubscribed impossible? Or were there oher reasons behind? Of a more personal nature? Was the subscriber a threat of some reason? Quite ironical!

Do (did) subscribers have to praise the moderator and not question her and his actions, what she/he wrote, in maybe any way?