Traditional morality and the fourth commandment…

Alice Miller writes at page 204 in her book ”The Body Never Lies”:

“The second pillar [on which the idea that we must honor our parents rests] is traditional morality, which has threatened us for thousands of years with premature death if we should dare to deny our parents the honor they deserve, regardless of what they may have done to us.

It is not difficult to understand the dreadful effect this morality of intimidation will have on individuals who were abused when they were small.”

Triggered by a new posting by Anja on the blog Do nothing day about research “showing” that bad sleep can cause psychiatric diseases. We have known since long that bad sleep can cause different bodily complaints.

Anja means that isn’t this typical: psychiatry is a science still working from the hypothesis that psychiatric diseases just occur from empty nothingness and everything that can become connected to the disease are consequences of this. One seems to have an immense dislike, aversion, to turn the causal relation around and see the psychiatric disease as effect of something.

I have also though of people who have come into my life again the last time showing to have different “problems,” in different degrees. We are all in good middle age now.

One has broken with her 6 year old brother of some reason.

Another is being on sick-list for being burnout, she was one of the more clever at school (till we were in the beginning of our teens, when I and my family moved to an entirely other part of the country, and I gradually lost all contact with all former mates and friends), I think she became jurist.

A third is trying to quit using snus. And I have wondered already what she was exposed to as a child.

The two first are living alone, with broken relations behind them (quite long relations? One lasted at least for 15 years, resulting in no kids).

I don’t know what I expected getting in contact with old classmates and friends… From a period I have painted rosier than it was??

Came to think about “Traumas – a non issue…”

The effects of sweeping things under the rug or "What's hidden in snow comes up in thaw," as we say, or "everything comes out sooner or later"...

The beliefs that if we don’t talk about it, pretend it didn’t happen or forget it, it disappears, it doesn’t exist any more and doesn’t harm. But if we talk about it it will harm.