From a leader with the title “Children are always innocent” this week in a local newspaper here I want to translate the content, and then add some comments and brief thoughts on this leader. So here is my amateur translation to English first:
In the beginning of this millennium we suddenly started to talk about apathetic refugee children here in
At last the Swedish Migration Board reported some parents to the police, parents whom they suspected were manipulating their kids to resignation so they should be allowed to stay in the country. A Government investigation was appointed which fantastically enough asserted that the phenomenon was Swedish and at least indicated that the parents could be the guilty ones to the problem.
What sort of children was this? Now a proper medical investigation of 33 of these children has come. And the picture that is emerging is exactly as horrible as one could fear: here are children whom have seen their mothers being group raped, who have been raped themselves, and been exposed for severe threats of violence during the earliest years. Pictures from the hell shortly said.
How can a child handle so traumatic experiences depends on many different things, among them are the parents’ attitude.
But one thing is clear: the talk about that the apathetic children should have been made sick by their parents can become dismissed: the apathy has its roots in experiences so horrible that most of us can’t even imagine them.
The investigation also shows that apathy isn’t a specific Swedish phenomenon: it can be sorted medically under the stress reaction PRS, pervasive refusal syndrome.
So what can we learn from this? the leader writer wondered.
The most important lesson is that the one seeing a really sick child in front of her/him, who has lost all its interest for the surrounding world, has to realize that what one then sees is the end station in a long row of events. No child can play sick in this way. And no normally functioning parent would bring her/himself to cause such a state in her/his own child.
When I was writing this I came to think a phone talk I had the other evening with a now middle age woman. Where she revealed her life story, of which I have got pieces earlier. This woman is born in one of our Scandinavian countries to parents who were socially functioning, members of a church.
She was spanked and sexually abused, but managed to study at the University and was quite successful I think. But has never managed to work after those studies. And never gotten proper help from therapists or the psychiatric care to process (all) her traumas.
In her twenties she got a child but landed in a deep depression and sought herself to a psychiatric ward. She could never be there for her child and feels extremely sad over this. She lay in bed apathetic. Couldn’t enjoy being mother.
When her daughter was around five years she divorced her father, but she couldn’t take care of her daughter herself (or at all) because she had no powers doing so, still in depression and emotionally handicapped. Her father took care of her, and it looks like the daughter has grown up to a healthy individual! This is something fantastic! But her mother wonders what her daughter has been through and maybe keeps inside her. Experiencing such a mother so earl in life and actually being abandoned by her so early (how many dads have similar concerns strikes me when I am writing this).
Yes, I agree that the children are always innocent... But, there is a but... About parents, and their behaviors...
You find the leader here too.
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