Child abuse...

Things I threw down in my diary after starting to read about a child's experiences:

"Pushed into a corner. Siblings with alloted roles. A parent exercising power. Acting her/his things out? Things that had nothing to do with the child/ren.

Breaking the child's will?

Jenson wrote in her book about abuse of a more subtle sort and thus more difficult to see or grasp [as she seems to see it. Now I see in the Introduction that she writes that because her experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family * weren't so apparent - she wasn't beaten and usually not shouted at either - it took a long time for her to understand how her childhood had affected her. Not until she had been in traditional therapies for years she discovered how you can uncover experiences that had been unconscious. Then she understood why and how childhood experiences still affected (disrupted, disturbed, interrupted, spoiled, marred) her life].

Reacting at scapegoats only give temporary relief..."

I had a father coming home and acting his irritation, anger, frustration out... Incapable of being present really... He was never really there. Impatient. Have I adopted parts of this? Though in a female way? (But I have been admired for my enormous patience in many circumstances, for instance in my work...)

Was he ever aware of this or even wondering over this? Did he ever question this side of his? Did he understand the roots for this ever? Did he want to understand? Did he have to understand?

Are other people forced to understand because their alternatives/options are none? And other people have the possibility to come home and pour things out and thus stay "healthy" and sane?

He died in malign melanoma when he was almost 83, 5 years. He was never a sunbather. Stress research has shown connections between depression and skin cancer... Searched on this on the net and found this.

Links between diabetes and depression see here for instance.

Also see the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (the ACE-study) on almost 18, 000 people.

* Jenson has written in her book about the results of just changing dysfunctional behavior to a functional; that it too often doesn't change so much (however a method that is most often used, i.e. you just understand these things with your brain). The feelings are often the same or even worse after this sort of therapy... You need to understand these things on a deeper level, get help understanding them on a deeper level. If you have to do this work on your own it will take a lot of time...

But physicians like Vincent Felitti, Anna Luise Kirkengen and Eli Berg for instance have shown that just giving a patient the opportunity to speak up, break silence can lead to tremendous relief and recovery.