"When Godess Freyja and her putti company appear on the winter sky in a chariot driven by cats it is time to celebrate the arrival of the first snow. Well I made it up because Freyja was really the Godess of Fertility but then again, maybe she is pregnant with snow and gives birth to all the little snow flakes of which some become stars to lighten up the winter darkness and some drop down on earth to just lie there for a while and twinkle back to the stars. or she just inspires people to invent some new myths while waiting for spring.
Music by Lars-Erik Larsson (1908-1986), En vintersaga (The Winter's Tale) Op.18 The Stockholm Sinfonietta, Jan-Olov Wedin cond. (rec. 1980-81)"
Lena Nyberg spoke about adults in school and thinks the competence in the personnel is altogether crucial.
I agree. Something we need to develop, and need help developing, and talking about we working in the school or with young people in health care etc.
She thinks that it is important that adults manage to see the students. Children need to be seen and motivated she says. So we need to see ourselves in the first place (my addition).
“Today the school most often has an adult perspective I think is very out-of-date, obsolete. We shall raise our kids to independent individuals, who can call things/phenomena in question, be critical, curious and eager to learn. Besides they shall gradually be competitive in a European and international world, and put Sweden on the map.
Against this we have a school system where the idea in many respect is that the students shall be quiet, disciplined and do as they are told. This doesn’t fit together so to speak.”
she declares and looks like a real warrior!!!!
“We need an entirely new school debate!
Yes, a school debate where important questions about the basis of values [värdegrundsfrågor] are at the focus.”
She asks for a mutual respect between us adults and our children and young people. My comment: But it is this with power imbalance. So this with showing respect lies more on the adult… Or the greatest responsibility in this respect lies on the adult.
She also speaks about children’s right to culture. She thinks aesthetic learning processes are interesting, as well as their connection to the article 12 in the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the article she thinks is a great tool when we shall meet children’s and young people’s needs.
It reads as follows:
Article 12
1. States Parties shall assure to the child who is capable of forming his or her own views the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting the child, the views of the child being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child.
2. For this purpose, the child shall in particular be provided the opportunity to be heard in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting the child, either directly, or through a representative or an appropriate body, in a manner consistent with the procedural rules of national law.
For Lena it is evident that children are entitled to culture and different ways of expressing themselves. An important tool helping them to create a better self-esteem and thus a greater safety, as she expresses it.
I agree. And this goes along with ideas like the ones in Reggio Emilia for instance. And her ideas about respect for the child with the work in the Summerhill school.
When it comes to the spare time and sports sector she has a clear opinion.
“The children and young people of our time are consumers. If there is money there is a great selection of spare time, but the risk is that we get a dividing up between those who can afford and those who can’t afford.
The sports activities play an important role. /…/
My only wish is that they [the ones responsible there] could better meet each individual’s needs, so that each one can continue with her/his big interest so long as he/she wishes and that one became even better in reaching more children and young people.”
It suddenly struck me yesterday in the middle of everything (there has been a couple of articles about aesthetic expressions and occupations recently, maybe because of coming changes in our gymnasium education that are announced) about the ones in power in Sweden today (the politicians, especially in our current government): do they begrudge young people being alive, free, autonomous, self-secure in a healthy and genuine way?
That they (the ones in power) aren't genuinely alive, free, autonomous, is that why they are now talking so much (entirely) about discipline, grades etc.??? And not about other solutions? And is that he reason why they see the problems in school as they see?
But we aren't born in this way. We weren't born emotionally numb or dead. We became that way. But we don't have to continue being like this. However, the work to recover can be really tough. Really, really tough. Think if we hadn't become harmed in the first place! Thinking loudly here...
Sidetrack: people should become encouraged to raise their voices instead of the opposite!? Even if their language isn't perfect! Their spelling and grammar has flaws. How many voices aren't silenced? How many voices aren't censored that shouldn't have been censored? And are there people screaming loudly and taking up all the space that maybe shouldn't have all this space? Why do they need all this space? Quite ironic.
I know of a girl struggling with everything on her own. Trying to understand, to develop on her own. Afraid of taking too much space, feeling shame and gilt because she did. Whose fault was this actually?
form a strong alliance of human rights agencies, key individuals and non-governmental organisations against corporal punishment;
make corporal punishment of children visible by building a global map of its prevalence and legality, ensuring that children's views are heard and charting progress towards ending it;
lobby state governments systematically to ban all forms of corporal punishment and to develop public education programmes;
provide detailed technical assistance to support states with these reforms.
It stood in a small notice in a local newspaper “Human rights- the only way”. The UN declaration about the human rights "The Universal Declaration of Human Rights"celebrates 60 years. Progressive and forward aiming thoughts worth celebrating. Namely all human beings equal rights. All peoples’ freedom. Fight against death penalty, torture and other injustices.
If only good powers prevailed and the bad could be combated.
A wish in vain!? But where does evilness come from? See earlier postings on evil child (monster child) and evilness . And how do we fight this?
Further thoughts: The organization at work is a real mess… The last decade with the economic steel bath a lot of people became burnout or “just” exhausted, preferably women have become. The conditions have become worse at workplaces… Not better or improved. People have become more and more selfish. Nobody care about anybody else. All have so enough with their own affairs. All only care about their own things.
A Thursday some weeks ago I met a female colleague at town and she muttered very angrily there. She was on her way to a lunch concert. Now it was the guitarists turn. Guitarists with guests. The other guitar teachers are men. My female colleague is the only female guitar teacher and her master (major?) is actually not guitar. She switched to recorder during her precollege education.
She said that she had to take the whole responsibility for the concert. All men left everything to her.
“But let it break down!”
I tried to say to her.
No, she said she couldn’t.
Oh, those stupid women!!! Do they have to take the responsibility always!?? Well, she can only blame herself!!! Then. It’s her own fault if she becomes exhausted!! Of course she has responsibility for herself and for her health and wellbeing. Everything is put solely on individual persons’ shoulders though… The workplaces or anyone in power have nothing with this to do. And if you can’t handle things, well, then you can just founder! Survival of the fittest.
Commentators on blogs and to articles in the newspapers are mostly men. And most of them are neoliberals. And they are really, really rude! Many probably what you would call Internet-trolls. Scaring other more reasonable people away. Taking up all the space. Shouting loudest and most, till nobody else is heard. Of course you can wonder where this comes from. Why they are like this. And how to deal with this. If you shall deal with it at all, and who shall deal with it? Whose duty dealing with it?
Of course you can wonder who shall solve the problem(s)…
In the meantime people can founder!!!???
What sort of people remain after a while? Only the toughest, hardest? The ones with empathy deficits?
I thought about this with focusing yesterday during and after our lunch concert with our cleverest students. And what Cleese and Skinner wrote about the politicians reaching the power. That it’s more likely that the ones only focused on politics reach the top, gets the most power. I couldn’t help drawing parallels to my profession and being successful there.
One of our former students is now student at the Conservatory. His aim was and still is becoming the best! And he is on his way. And this is a young man (16 years I think) who has some autism traits. So, yeah, he can focus in a way many other people can’t and don’t.
At the concert yesterday a young woman played a movement from a Handel-sonata. She has played it so well and it has been so fun playing with her. She is new in the group and has made a great progress since she sought to this course only half a year ago. She is a girl you really can rely on! Taking responsibility, thinking of others etc. She presented the concert in the beginning. Was asked only an hour before, and she said yes and did it excellently.
But when she should play her solo she was a bit too nervous… And missed things she hadn't missed before.
High demands on her together with thinking on others, i.e. not only focused on what she should do, but on a lot of other things.
And such people can founder!!!!! They have to change! The (most) selfish people don't have to change, because we can't change them? Or?
Is it the most talented that reach the top – always? Is it the most worthy? The best people? What sort of society would be a good one for people to live in? How do we create this sort of society? Is it possible to create? Or is it only survival of the fittest it is about?
What is important? Reaching the top? Being, becoming the best? Can all be the best? And if you don’t become, then what? Or?
Who and what is rewarded in the society? Is it really as van Dyke says:
"Use what talent you possess - the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
If you aren’t the best you can be the most attractive, the most beautiful??? The youngest, strongest?
Van Dyke has also said:
“To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which shall really increase the happiness and welfare and virtue of mankind - this is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely it is a good haven to sail for."
Martin Luther King Jr. said:
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
I am entitled to speak up, as woman, as belonging to the weak sex, from my perspective and my experiences, from what I have read, heard, seen, sensed, am I not? Entitled to question and see as wrong? And react strongly against? Or should I become silenced? Is my voice worth being silenced? Am I stupid, don't I have anything to come with?
Till anybody can truly and genuinely convince me about something else, that conditions and people aren't as I see them and experience them? Do I have to protect the already strong and powerful? Unless they don't really deserve it? Because human rights are for them too!
Kirkengen for instance has spoken about power imbalance, and what responsibility that comes with that... A somewhat greater responsibility or at least an awareness about the fact that there exists a power imbalance in a relation, as between a doctor and his/her patient/client, a teacher and her/his student etc.
In a leader the Swedish writer Johan Ehrenberg writes that sometimes you read things making you understand that those saying there only exists one world are wrong. It has to be many parallel worlds, at least ONE globe more seen to how some are resonating.
On this planet a security-sickness is ruling, with people not understanding their own best and people don’t daring or caring to move further. How good that there are companies wanting to fire people so something good can happen to them!
Because, you know, all problems are individual problems! You are the problem yourself and you are the solution yourself.
My comment: Yes, of course we have responsibility for ourselves each of us!!! But how is it actually with taking responsibility? And how about golden parachutes (fallskärmsavtal)?
If you try to tell such an ideologist that half of those notices (varsel) are leading to tremendous personal troubles and those who are said to ”become happy” by being fired in fact should have been capable of changing both jobs and direction of work and life anyway, this is like shouting right into nowhere.
They just can’t understand this. Because their ideology makes them blind. Do they understand what the word “freedom” means?
Freedom is being able to choose things yourself, being able to change your life because you want to. Being able to choose between different jobs and not – because of the fear of loosing your incomes - becoming tied up with what is there.
Because the reason why people don’t change jobs is due to insecurity. Not because of security.
The freedom The Confederation of Swedish Enterprise is describing is something entirely different.
It is being forced under threat, a change somebody is forcing upon you. Not freedom. As individual you have to “do the best of the situation” (of course), i.e., try thinking positively and move on. But to draw the conclusion that being fired is GOOD is to live on another planet.
Our government is saying that the finance market in the bottom is sound… Our prime minister is the last fundamentalist among the ruling? He recently said something about corrections in the market, something in the style that if people don’t ask for Swedish cars, there has to be corrections in the market. I don’t know… There are many statements that are really confusing! Because people (in for instance the ones with power) don’t know hat they are actually talking about, they are drive by forces they have denied and suppressed early? And we are used to confusions from early in life many of us more or less, so we are more or less lacking capacities to see confusions and contradictions through really??
Saunders said something in the style that he was worried because he didn’t think Greenspan understood what sort of needs the middle and working class families have. Instead he thought Greenspan only saw as his duty to represent the wealthy people and the big corporations. He suspected that Greenspan simply doesn’t know what is happening out there in the real world. Greenspan was at this time talking about a growing economy…
Saunders tried with saying:
"But the last three years we have lost three million jobs in the private sector. The long-term unemployment has become three folded. 1, 4 million people have lost their health insurance. Millions of pensioners can’t afford medicine. The middle class can’t send their children to college."
Greenspan replied:
”We have the highest living standard in the world.”
“Not at all,”
Saunders replied.
“Look at Scandinavia, where the citizens have considerably higher living standard when it comes to education, health care and jobs where they are decently paid.”
Greenspan:
“But we have the highest living standard for a country of this size at least.”
But what country did he compare the USA with? Indonesia maybe? Or maybe Brazil? Pakistan? Bangladesh?
And economical experts are wondering how things could turn out as they have.
First I want to add that I don’t believe in all their ideas on why people get psychologically ill, are having psychological problems or how to come to terms with them.
However, here I want to quote a little freely from the chapter about "changes for everybody."
Politicians dividing people in ”we” and ”them”, whom always need somebody to blame when things have gone wrong, aren’t really psychologically healthy.
They have less contact with the reality and their opinions are less gone through. Instead we are seeing their deep-rooted emotional attitudes (whom they maybe aren’t aware of).
On average they are more polarized, more prejudiced towards political opponents and thus less capable of seeing the whole picture and work towards the most reasonable compromises, as the soundest in every party are capable of.
Both Stalinists and Nazis were very authoritarian and totally paranoiac.
Differences, disunity and debate are important to be able to make proper political decisions, for they show the whole row of possibilities and through comparing and choosing among those we can make changes in consensus (without manipulation or brainwashing or anything: my comment).
The soundest politicians have a lot of other interests in life besides the politics.
The sounder have less needs controlling other people. They are less interested in power for its own sake and more anxious or eager sharing it, as far as possible, giving power to other people in the society.
And when changes are desirable they try to bring those about through convincing people, instead of forcing changes on them. But again: not through manipulation. Sooner or less people will see manipulation through. And if they don’t we will see the results anyway; in a less good working society, workplace, family etc.
The people in the current system getting power are maybe the ones that least of all should have it. But the ones who ought to have the power are held back by the others, because that’s how our system is working. You obtain influence in a party by investing all your time and energy on it – something you are more apt to if you are obsessed by it and don’t have any other real interests.
Thus it’s the human beings whom have less on the side of politics, and the ones with the greatest power-hunger, who get disproportionate big influence and force the sounder and more moderate holding more extreme opinions than they should have otherwise. Which in turn increases the polarization further and conjure more extreme opinions up than most people usually would entertain.
The governing in Great Britain has largely consisted of foisting minority opinions on the citizens, with the result that a great part of the population don’t feel represented in the political process(es).
I wonder: Can this demoralize people? Create cynicism in the worst case and create cynicism if it continues a longer time?
The decisions that are working are the ones that are obtained through a thorough and open discussion where diverging opinions are welcomed and listened to, leading to a real and widely spread unity or in the worst case that decisions are taken by a management one feels is acting with the WHOLE systems best for its eyes.
One-sided (or badly supported: my addition) made decisions aren’t lasting. Instead of solving problems they maintain the sad processes in the political apparatus that makes so decisions never are what they ought to be, but always are an exaggerated reaction against the last one-sided decision. The result becomes an endless oscillation between extremes giving overcompensation for what you have lost on the earlier decision.
My comment: The ones that are governing are in many cases governing through dividing and ruling.
The result can become a society that is less sound, more authoritarian, more polarized and group-selfish.
My comment: Exactly what we are seeing.
The trick is finding people whom are less one-eyed.
My comment: why are people one-eyed? Why don’t we have healthier leaders? Or healthier societies?
If I use rhetoric people are paying back with the same coin and we don’t get anywhere. Only in the healthiest contexts we are safe/secure enough to encourage all becoming independent and to express what they feel.
“A young girl, Kristina, sits on her swing and dreams about her beau Karl Oskar. He is on his way to see her [eager seeing her], and she pictures how he makes his way through the familiar surroundings (‘Duvemåla Pasture’).
When Karl Oskar arrives he tells her that he has inherited his father's farm, and can now make Kristina his wife. The two are wed and begin a life together, but times are hard as they keep getting bad harvest years.
Kristina worries that they won't be able to support their growing family, and suggests to her husband that they don't have intercourse, in order to prevent another pregnancy.
Karl Oskar talks her out of it, saying that it would be a betrayal of his lust and love for her (‘My Lust for You’).”
When she is sitting on her swing waiting for him she sings:
”Sedan han lämnat Korpamoen, tar han stigen mot Bökevara Bidalites vägskäl ser han snart, en halv fjärdingsväg är det bara Skälljud från korna hör han svagt, ifrån Åskålens näs och uddar Hölassen där i träd och snår, brukar kvarlämna strån och suddar
Över grind och stätta Har han svingat sej, nu är han nära Fötterna är lätta För han vandrar vägen till sin kära
Åkerby har han bakom sej, där ska dansas på lördagsnatten När han passerat Åleberg, ser han Kråkesjöns dunkla vatten På Krysseboda sommaräng, ser han liljekonvalj utslagen Björkskogen där bär nya löv, där är ljust in på sena dagen
Över grind och stätta Har han svingat sej, nu är han nära Fötterna är lätta För han vandrar vägen till sin kära
Och snart är han vid Sju Bönders grind, jag kan skymta hans vita krage Snart med hans axel mot min kind, går jag i Duvemåla Hage.”
[Slightly edited in the evening and updated December 3]. One of my bosses said on a meeting recently that he had read (or heard about) an investigation about people born in the nineties showing that those people are much more individualistic than any other generation. He didn't describe it as this individualism was something positive in my ears and feelings. My interpretation was that they are selfish and don't really care about other people. But has grown people always thought like this about the younger generations (with a self-ironic smile and a deep sigh).
These young people have a greater propensity for immediate satisfaction of their needs he said I think. They put themselves in the first place/room… If I remember right. They are (only) loyal to themselves.
Sidetrack: I also reacted at colleagues I got in the beginning of the nineties (colleagues coming directly from their education), colleagues who were born in the sixties (as our minister of education, whose ideas I don't like at all), they were so strict and authoritarian towards our students, sounded so totalitarian in their judgments! Yes, they sounded like this at least, it's maybe possible that they weren't really like this in practical work, I don't know.
I reacted at what my boss said, as if we just have to accept that young people are like this... And I also raised my voice on this meeting. Have thought further on this a little, among a lot of other things I have in my mind.
Does the one have to exclude the other? Can’t you be loyal both to yourself and to the community (so long as the community is really worth this of course)? Does the individual exclude the collective or vice versa? Can’t, and shouldn’t, the collective treat or meet, each individual with real, genuine, deep respect? And can't an individual feel loyalty towards a group, a community? So long as it is worth it, yes!?
Are those two opposites? Do they have to be? And if they are, why are they?
I try to imagine; if we managed to meet the child with true, genuine respect from the first beginning, in the first place, respect for its feelings, needs, reactions, expressions etc. wouldn’t that individual be capable of showing true, genuine respect to what is worth her or his respect? And make that person more capable of constructively dealing with difficult people, conditions etc.
I also came to think of John Cleese and one of the books he wrote with his therapist Robin Skinner, about leaders, more and less healthy ones. For instance what they had to say about Hitler and Stalin. I searched the book in my book cases and read quickly that they mean that Hitler belonged to the right-extremists and Stalin to the left-extremists briefly said!?
But I think I have to reread what they wrote better before I write more about it…
And I also came to think about shame again of some reason, as a raising method, even used (by people in the power) to steer adult people into things they otherwise wouldn't have agreed to or would have strongly protested against... Would it be possible steering people with shame if they had become better treated (truly respectfully treated) earliest in life?
The young people growing up during the former decade (the nineties), grew up during a time when the grown up world had less time for them; parents more occupied than ever, and there were less grown up people in school, because of the steel bath in the economy then...
There’s a lot at work now too… This was really quickly written...
Some quick reflections December 3: we have been told (encouraged) the last more then ten years at work to say what we think. Told not to talk in the corridors. But do people really - and if not why? Have they started doing this more? Or maybe even less? And the ones that are speaking up - how are they seen and/or met? Are they maybe exploding over states of affairs? And sensitive to not outspoken things? Is it a little "you shall but you shall not"? Which is one of the Master Suppression Techniques?
In this blog I want to explore the effects of childhood experiences on individual lives, the health (not only the emotional/psychological, but also, and not least, the bodily/somatic), the society, why people seek themselves to power positions, the effect of childhood on politics.
With the ideas that imbue Alice Miller's work and writing.
And sometimes just share things I have read and come across and I agree with and couldn't have said better myself.
I work full time with young people since many years, as teacher in music (piano pedagogue), and am interested in these things, both privately/personally and professionally.
But my time is limited to write and blog, even if it probably doesn't look so.
I will devote myself to loud thinking a lot here I think. And this blog is also a way for me to collect texts, facts, links, sites I want to save for further use maybe.
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Crisis
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I suppose some people might wonder why I'm not completely hysterical. Why
would I be hysterical? The building where I've lived for 22 years is
scheduled fo...
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Pharmaceutical marketing expert witness [image: screen2largeMM]
Dr. Peter Rost is a former Pfizer Marketing Vice President providing
services as a marketi...
Påskuppropet mot sjukförsäkringar
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Idag var det manifestation. Mycket bra. Jag var där. Mycket bra.
Men någonting gnagde mig på vägen hem. För stämningen var mer uppgiven än
arg, och det ä...
Arbeidet med ny side er i gang!
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Nå har arbeidet med domeneregistrering og nytt design startet og jeg gleder
meg til jeg kan vise dere resultatet! Det skal bli bra å få Psykiskbloggen
over...
Click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site.
Books I am referring to on this blog:
Bosch, Ingeborg: "Rediscovering the True Self"
Freyd, Jennifer J.: "Betrayal Trauma - The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse" ISBN 0-647-06806-8
Jenson, Jean: "Reclaiming Your Life" ISBN 91-46-17409-5
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Hvordan krenkede barn blir syke voksne" ISBN 82-15-00713-9 ("How Abused Children Become Unhealthy Adults")
Kirkengen, Anna Luise: "Inscribed bodies - Health Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse" ISBN 0-7923-7019-8
Lewis Herman, Judith: "Trauma and Recovery - From Domestic Violence to Political Terror" ISBN 086358430-6 (svensk översättning finns: ”Trauma och tillfrisknande” ISBN10: 9197263133, ISBN13: 9789197263139, Förlag: Göteborgs Psykoterapi Institut)
Miller, Alice: "Den dolda nyckeln" ISBN 91-46-15747-6 (The Untouched Key)
Miller, Alice: "Det självutplånande barnet och sökandet efter en äkta identitet" ISBN 91-7643-559-8 (The Drama of the Gifted Child)
Miller, Alice: "Du skall icke märka - variationer över paradistemat" ISBN 91-46-14374-2 (Thou Shalt Not Be Aware)
Miller, Alice: "Riv tigandets mur - sanning byggd på fakta" ISBN 91-46-16022-1 (Breaking Down the Wall of Silence)
Miller, Alice: "The Body Never Lies - The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting" ISBN 0-393-06065-9
Miller, Alice: "The Truth Will Set You Free - Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self" ISBN 0-465-04585-5
Miller, Alice: "Vägar i livet - sju berättelser" ISBN 91-46-17414-1 (Paths of Life - Seven Scenarios)
Pincus, Jonathan H.: "Base Instincts - What Makes Killers Kill?" ISBN 0-393-32323-4
Children baking...
Look, the joy in the children?? Enjoying what they are doing? (illustration from one of the books by Astrid Lindgren, click on the picture to go to her site).
"...of all the many forms of child abuse, emotional abuse may be the cruelest and longest-lasting of all.” "Emotional abuse is the systematic diminishment of another. It may be intentional or subconscious (or both), but it is always a course of conduct, not a single event. It is designed to reduce a child's self-concept to the point where the victim considers himself unworthy—unworthy of respect, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of the natural birthright of all children: love and protection." (Andrew Vachss)
"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom." -- "Common Sense", Thomas Paine, January 10, 1776
"Modern education is competitive, nationalistic and separative. It has trained the child to regard material values as of major importance, to believe that his nation is also of major importance and superior to other nations and peoples. The general level of world information is high but usually biased, influenced by national prejudices, serving to make us citizens of our nation but not of the world." (Albert Einstein)
"Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last fifty years... Given these and other conditions of contemporary civilization, how can one claim that the ‘normal’ man is sane?" (R.D. Laing, 1967)
"Organizations take on characteristics of the people running them./.../ There's always pressure within groups to conform, anyway. The top monkey exerts the most pressure." (Steve Thomas)
"Yet many psychiatrists and psychologists refuse to entertain the idea that society as a whole may be lacking in sanity. They hold that the problem of mental health in a society is only that of the number of 'unadjusted' individuals, and not of a possible unadjustment of the culture itself." (Erich Fromm in The Sane Society, 1955)
When a big kid hits a little kid, we call it bullying. When an adult hits another adult, we call it assault. When the adults in a family hit each other we call it battering or domestic violence. When an adult hits a child we call it discipline..
“Blindness and lack of connectedness whether truly needed or not, are ultimately tragic solutions to life. These adaptations keep us from knowing ourselves and others fully. We end up fragmented both internally and externally – impoverished spiritually and socially /…/ it seriously constrains our human potential /…/ Survivors of childhood sexual abuse and betrayal blindness have learned to cope by being disconnected internally so as to manage a minimal kind of external connection. But with adult freedom and responsibility come the potential to break silence, to use voice and language to promote internal integration, deeper external connection, and a social transformation, Through communication – integration within ourselves and connection between individuals – we can become whole; embodied, aware, vital, powerful”(Jennifer Freyd in the chapter “Removing Blinders, Becoming Connected” in her book “Betrayal Trauma…”).
“If you are very strong you have to be very kind” (Pippi Longstocking)
“In psychiatry, too, what a person says and writes can’t be divorced from who he is and how he lives.” (Thomas Szasz).
“The method of Marshall Rosenberg is very nice and may be helpful to people who have not be[been??] severely mistreated in childhood. The latter ones however must find their pent up, LEGITIMATE rage and free themselves from the lies of our moral system. As long as they don't do this, their body will continue to scream for the truth with the help of symptoms" (Alice Miller)
“To desire and strive to be of some service to the world, to aim at doing something which shall really increase the happiness and welfare and virtue of mankind - this is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely it is a good haven to sail for" (Henry van Dyke)
“‘I have never met a man,’ said Grandma Georgina, ‘who talks so much absolute nonsense!’ ‘A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,’ Mr Wonka said.” (Roald Dahl)
Look at his facial expression! Angrily carving… The stubborn, disobedient child... Or? How does he feel there in his joiner's workshop? (click on the picture to go to Astrid Lindgren site).
About the ACE-study:
"It's not just water under the bridge."
ACEs are surprisingly common among people of all social strata, and have far-reaching consequences. For many people, it's not possible to "just get over it".
What's an ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience i.e. "skadlig barndomserfarenhet")? Adverse Childhood Experience is growing up experiencing any of the following conditions in the household prior to age 18:
1. Recurrent physical abuse
2. Recurrent emotional abuse
3. Contact sexual abuse
4. An alcohol and/or drug abuser in the household
5. An incarcerated household member
6. Someone who is chronically depressed, mentally ill, institutionalized, or suicidal
I don't like being photographed, and don't have many photos of myself but here are some, though fairly old! Click on the picture to see two more pictures.
I was born in Umeå in Västerbotten, Sweden, and moved during childhood stepwise to Skåne in the south, and at last back to just below the middle of Sweden where I still live.
I am educated both as piano-pedagogue and church-musician and have a full time employment as piano-pedagogue. Church-music is side work.
I am interested in a lot of things and will blog about things I read, psychology, society, history, nature, my work too hopefully, and my everyday life… And both in Swedish and English.
This is a blog, with my (sometimes very) personal - and loud reflections on what I read, see, hear, react on, feel for - and not feel for and want to explore. I don't work in this field at all, but I have my reflections and thoughts nevertheless and have read fairly a lot I think, and here I reflect upon all this. I am searching myself forward. I link sites for information, if one want to know more about what I am talking/writing about and what is mentioned in the texts I am citing and referring to. And I link sites not least for my own sake. So it isn’t sure I agree with all that is linked on this blog, that's not why I link sites. I can agree with parts of what is linked, bigger or smaller, from almost everything to almost nothing.
I hope those who perhaps find my blog are reading everything here critically - including what stands in what I link.
And when it comes to therapy and all (self)help-concepts I think one shall be very careful. Maybe as a friend said it:
“Meaningful critical thinking.
Psychotherapists have been claiming that they have invented better treatment methods since Sigmund Freud in 1897. The amount of psychological distress in the world hasn’t become less. There’s money to be made from attracting more clients, whether the therapy works or not.
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