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5/27/2009

Diagnosis...

Came to think about diagnosis, and was curious on what the Dutch therapist Ingeborg Bosch has written about this in her book "Rediscovering The True Self", so I looked in it (the revised version). Want to make a first posting about this, maybe catching this up with more postings.

But for the first she writes:

“We are adults with a divided consciousness. We don't have a child living inside us that can be healed, loved, reassured etc. We can only heal the effects of the past by allowing ourselves to feel the old pain while we are aware of the present reality.

Conceiving ourselves as being divided into 'me and my child' stimulates disintegration, instead of leading to the integration necessary to heal.

Moreover loving, reassuring, listening to and respecting etc. our 'inner-child' just fuels our False Hope [i.e. fuels a defense that we can get something today we needed then but didn't get then, something that was so painful then that we had to defend ourselves against and deny to survive] (page 242-243).”

In Swedish:

“Vi är vuxna med delade medvetanden. Vi har inget barn som lever inuti oss som kan helas, älskas, lugnas osv. Vi kan bara hela effekterna av det förflutna genom att tillåta oss att känna den gamla smärtan medan vi är medvetna om den nuvarande verkligheten.

Att tänka, föreställa oss som delade i 'jag och mitt barn' stimulerar motsatsen till integrering , istället för att leda till den integration [förening till ett helt] som är nödvändig för att helas [enligt bland andra Bosch].

Dessutom, att älska, lugna, lyssna till och respektera osv. vårt 'inre barn' understödjer bara vårt falska hopp [dvs. ett försvar att vi ska få något vi inte fick då, som vi dock hade behövt då, men som var så smärtsamt att vi måste förneka det och försvara oss emot].”

Bosch writes about “Obsessive-compulsive disorders” (OCD):

“These disorders reveal a False Hope strategy: 'If only I can do this or that in such and such a way, I can ward off the danger'. Of course the danger could never be warded off, since what we are afraid of has already happened. We just haven't admitted it and felt the pain and fear.

Research shows that people who suffer from obsessive compulsive behavior, have the lowest rates of suicide when compared to those officially diagnosed as suffering from other 'mental diseases', especially depression.

This would be in line with the hypothesis that Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (a DSM-IV diagnostic label) is an extreme form of False Hope, which implies that it serves as a very efficient buffer against experiencing the Primary Defense.

The Primary Defense, as we have seen, can often be equated to what is called 'depression', which has the highest correlation rate to suicide (page 245-246).”

In Swedish on "Tvångssyndrom":

“Dessa störningar röjer en falskt hopp strategi 'Om jag bara kan göra det här eller det där på det eller det sättet kan jag hålla faran på avstånd.'

Naturligtvis kan faran aldrig hållas på avstånd, eftersom det vi är rädda för redan har hänt. Vi har bara inte erkänt den och känt smärtan och rädslan.

Forskning visar att människor som lider av tvångssyndrom har den lägsta frekvensen av självmord jämfört med dem som officiellt är diagnostiserade som lidande av andra 'mentala störningar', särskilt depression.

Detta skulle kunna vara i linje med hypotesen att tvångssyndrom (en DSM-IV diagnostisk beteckning) är en extrem form av falskt hopp, vilket betyder att den tjänar som en väldigt effektiv buffert mot att uppleva det ursprungliga försvaret [att klandra sig själv, kort uttryckt].”


2/04/2008

Dan...

true, not obsessive, care and love? Dear friends?
[Uppdaterad 5 februari]. På sidorna 169-170 i Jensons bok "Att återerövra sitt liv" hittade jag något helt annat när jag letade efter vad Jenson har skrivit om "inre barn".

Där står:
"Dan hade gjort slut med en kvinna som han var mycket attraherad av efter att ha blivit utnyttjad av henne, men han hade ändå svårt att låta bli att följa efter henne så fort han såg hennes bil.

Eftersom hans känslor var så starka, var han rädd att han kanske trots allt fattat fel beslut - tills han upplevde den smärta som utlöstes av insikten att han aldrig upplevt att bli älskad som barn utan endast utnyttjats.

Efter denna insikt var det aldrig något problem för Dan om han råkade träffa på kvinnan."
---
When I was searching in Jenson's book after what she had written about "inner-child work" I found something else. She writes about a Dan who had left a woman he was very attracted to after having been (badly?) exploited by her. But he had difficulties not following her as soon as he saw her car.

As his feelings were so strong he was worried that he maybe had done something wrong when he had cut off with this woman - until he experienced the pain which was released by the insight that he had never experienced how it was to be loved as a child but only exploited.

After this insight there were no problems for Dan at all if he saw this woman. He was totally free from her and didn't have to follow her compulsively...

About compulsive disorders here... Are they possible to treat just by telling a person to change behavior??? What are the roots? Treatments are manipulative?? The therapists are afraid of hearing the truths that are underlying?? And thus they can't help the person with problems, even if she/he wants...

Even if she/he thinks she/he has a problem and doesn't feel comfortable at all being obsessed by a person she/he doesn't get much back from or maybe less and less... On the contrary gets more and more obsessed the less contact he/she gets...

There are many books on how to protect oneself against this sort of persons...

Found this about good and bad obsessions!! I got a lot of hits when I searched on "being obsessed" so obviously this is something a lot of people have problems or wonders or thoughts about!!?? See here, here a book about confusing love with obsession! You can be obsessed with cellulites... Or obsessed with yourself... Being obsessed with girls...

Addition February 5: thought on this further after I had written this posting (tired when I wrote it). Yes, I am very critical to a lot of help and help-books, which I think are pretty moralizing... Not wanting to deal with or see the roots underneath?? (But, yes, there exists people not wanting to deal with what's underneath either too!?? As with group-therapy with for sex-criminals: some realized what they had done when they were allowed to question and see as wrong what they had endured. While others couldn't admit these things to themselves,couldn't access the truth or pain at all).


Dan was compulsively occupied or obsessed, stuck (self-destructively) with this woman to the degree that he just had to follow her... But he didn’t feel comfortable with this though? Despite this he just had to do as he did, confused over the compulsion (of following her on distance?). Until he got access to something… Then there were no problems any more with her. She had lost her "spell" over him. He realized she didn't mean anything to him actually!? He had just reenacted something from early in his life, trying to earn love from someone who treated him badly (and maybe even very badly)!? The badder he was treated the more occupied he became??

But he would have remained occupied with her if he had only been told to avoid her by a helper/therapist (if he had only been encouraged to go against his feelings, encouraged to train to do the opposite from what he just had to)!!?? Now he got appropriate help, and after that it was no problems with this woman any more (and no problems for this woman either, if she had had problems with him).